It's nothing new to me, not really. I first did it in college, before I knew what it was all about. We didn't call ourselves swingers back then, just horny bastards, and it WAS art school. LOL But yes, I've done a number of 3sums with 2 guys in my time. Not lately though...
My experiences in college weren't outstanding. The guys were usually stoned, and kinda goofy. They came too fast from inexperience and excitement, and for me, well, it just wasn't all that. When Mr and I were swinging, we talked about doing MFM 3sums all the time. The very idea of having me sandwiched between him and another guy excited him no end, as did the prospect of giving me a DP, or double penetration. It was Mr's dream to see me get my first DP, and to experience it. It didn't turn out like that, sorry for him. Mr and I did a number of 4sums with other couples, and although we did full swap most times, the DP thing never did work out. I'm not complaining, the 4sums we did have were outrageous fun. We had that great chemistry with each other and the couples we swung with. But we never did get around to the 3sum thing.
Malcolm and I have talked quite a bit about the prospect of bringing another man into the bedroom. We'd already chosen Ian quite awhile ago, but because of our schedules, and Ian's schedule, we haven't had a chance to enjoy him as part of a 3sum yet. We've enjoyed him in a Moresum, and I've enjoyed him one on one. This coming weekend, finally, we're doing him together, just Malcolm and I.
I'm feeling giddy as the two guys have been plotting all week on what their plan of action is. I can't think of two people I'd rather be doing this with, the two guys I know can make my head spin. I love the idea of all the myriad positions we can attempt, all the amazing and varied sexual ideas we can test. It makes me a bit breathless to think of it, and makes my pulse speed just a bit every time I anticipate it. Most of all, I'm so looking forward to cuddling with the man I love more than anything, and the boytoy that I genuinely care for. Thank you daddy for such an incredible gift.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Summer Beach Fun
It's encouraging to know that our little group is growing and becoming more and more exciting each party. This last party, held at Old Orchard Beach was different in that it attracted all couples, which was new for us as the previous two were more about singles. Every group owner hopes for couples, which make the group stable. Couples aren't fly by night, and if you make a good impression on them, they become the core of your group, ensuring it becomes successful. We had a fantastic time getting to know these couples, and also playing with them, and look forward to doing it again. We did make some decisions this round. The first decision being to go forward and only include "preferred" single men. Both Malcolm and I are tired of single guys confirming they will attend, then not showing up. We both have single male friends that we definitely want to include in the mix, hence the Preferred status. We will be accepting our friends, or people that come referred to us by couples we trust. Enough is enough. Next, we decided to take a break during July because most people are vacationing with their families, for one, and for two, the motel rates are insane due to the tourist industry. We'd have to charge 40.00 per person to even begin to think about doing that, and really...who the hell is gonna pay that in this economy? Malcolm and my schedule during July is a bit crazy anyways, and we did want to keep one weekend open to play privately with a couple we are very interested in, and who invited us to celebrate with them. YUM!
Malcolm and I had a little hard spot last week, after I wrote the last blog about my boy toy. It was his first real experience reading something I'd written that wasn't exclusively about him. He took it hard, much harder than I'd anticipated, and caused us just a bit of conflict in that it had hurt his feelings. Knowing I'd hurt him hurt me tenfold....I never want to hurt the man I love more than anything. He means everything to me. He did tell me, after he saw how stricken I was, that he was sorry he'd made a big deal of it, and that he didn't want me to change how I write. I offered to change it, I offered to take it down. But he insisted it remain in it's entirety and it's original form because that was me, and that was how I write. He let me know that in time he'd probably get into it more, but for now, he thinks he'd just prefer me to tell him my adventures verbally and with alot less intensity. I love him, so so so much.
That being said, I did understand that there would be a reckoning. Anyone in the D/s lifestyle can attest that a sub does not push her Dom's buttons without the Dom taking matters in hand and asserting his, well, dominance. I was a little unnerved, and was worried HOW that discipline would be delivered. I knew we'd not have any private time before the party, and knew that meant going into a party with unresolved issues. I suppose I'm a bad sub, but I'm terrified of public shame and humiliation. To be disciplined in public could just be the end for me, I swear. Yes, a little melodramatic, but nonetheless....
Malcolm assured me, as well, that any discipline he administers wouldn't be given out of anger. So our compromise was that I'd wear my collar at the party. I threw a bone in there and included the leash. I'm not a fan of my collar. It's tight, it's stiff, it restricts my range of motion, it chafes, and sometimes it feels like it chokes me. I knelt for Malcolm and offered him my collar. He took it and I bowed my head, held my hair and waited as he fastened it on me. The collar has this 3 or 4 pound grappling hook thingy on it which makes it incredibly gaumy, but once the whole contraption was together, I saw how he looked at me, and I knew in that moment that really, by my submission I hold him in my hand every bit as much as he holds me.
Malcolm and I had a little hard spot last week, after I wrote the last blog about my boy toy. It was his first real experience reading something I'd written that wasn't exclusively about him. He took it hard, much harder than I'd anticipated, and caused us just a bit of conflict in that it had hurt his feelings. Knowing I'd hurt him hurt me tenfold....I never want to hurt the man I love more than anything. He means everything to me. He did tell me, after he saw how stricken I was, that he was sorry he'd made a big deal of it, and that he didn't want me to change how I write. I offered to change it, I offered to take it down. But he insisted it remain in it's entirety and it's original form because that was me, and that was how I write. He let me know that in time he'd probably get into it more, but for now, he thinks he'd just prefer me to tell him my adventures verbally and with alot less intensity. I love him, so so so much.
That being said, I did understand that there would be a reckoning. Anyone in the D/s lifestyle can attest that a sub does not push her Dom's buttons without the Dom taking matters in hand and asserting his, well, dominance. I was a little unnerved, and was worried HOW that discipline would be delivered. I knew we'd not have any private time before the party, and knew that meant going into a party with unresolved issues. I suppose I'm a bad sub, but I'm terrified of public shame and humiliation. To be disciplined in public could just be the end for me, I swear. Yes, a little melodramatic, but nonetheless....
Malcolm assured me, as well, that any discipline he administers wouldn't be given out of anger. So our compromise was that I'd wear my collar at the party. I threw a bone in there and included the leash. I'm not a fan of my collar. It's tight, it's stiff, it restricts my range of motion, it chafes, and sometimes it feels like it chokes me. I knelt for Malcolm and offered him my collar. He took it and I bowed my head, held my hair and waited as he fastened it on me. The collar has this 3 or 4 pound grappling hook thingy on it which makes it incredibly gaumy, but once the whole contraption was together, I saw how he looked at me, and I knew in that moment that really, by my submission I hold him in my hand every bit as much as he holds me.
It was amazing. Malcolm was very loving all night, in front of the other couples. He'd come over to me, kiss me deeply, then whisper stuff in my ear like "You know what's coming later, right? I'm going to flail on you". Then he'd smile, move on, and be Mr Congeniality again. LOL, it was so disconcerting to hear about the pending violence of our coming together in the midst of such lighthearted fun. It was so erotic.
We bid the last of our couples goodnight at around 3 am. As he locked the door and turned out the lights, his countenance darkened, and he said "yeah, it's time." He pushed me down on the bed and ate me for the first time that night. Malcolm is a master at this, no words can honestly describe how it feels to have his tongue swirl over your clit, how he manages to suck it into his mouth and rub it in time to your own pulse. How he gets two fingers inside you and rubs the back while he sucks and licks the front. He makes me so damn wet, and he revels in running his tongue through my cream, sucking it down, making me cum for him.
He pressed his fat cock into me, lifting me so that he could get himself all the way in, all the way to the bottom. I love feeling his cock hit back, like I have a sheath custom made to fit him in just the right way. He looked at me while he speared me "That's MY pussy, isn't it?" "yes daddy, it's all yours"..."You're MY bitch aren't you?" , "yes daddy, I belong to you forever"... over and over and over until the single most thought in my mind was MY master, MY Dom, MY man, and I'd do whatever he asked, whenever he wanted because I am his slut, his whore. I completely belong to him. I have his absolute love, protection, and devotion in return for my unconditional love, servitude, and compliance.
As an interesting aside to the whole weekend, my sister finagled her way into the whole pic and was in town that night to help care for my daughter. It was her first time meeting Malcolm and she did her sisterly inquisition. It put Malcolm in a situation to have to declare his intentions, and bless his heart, he didn't balk. He passed her tests with flying colors, and let her know he's in it for the long haul, so not to worry. He made it clear that he loves me immensely, and managed to charm the General herself into thinking he's the greatest guy I've ever dated. No joke tho, he just really is.
Till next time!
Lilith & Malcolm
We bid the last of our couples goodnight at around 3 am. As he locked the door and turned out the lights, his countenance darkened, and he said "yeah, it's time." He pushed me down on the bed and ate me for the first time that night. Malcolm is a master at this, no words can honestly describe how it feels to have his tongue swirl over your clit, how he manages to suck it into his mouth and rub it in time to your own pulse. How he gets two fingers inside you and rubs the back while he sucks and licks the front. He makes me so damn wet, and he revels in running his tongue through my cream, sucking it down, making me cum for him.
He pressed his fat cock into me, lifting me so that he could get himself all the way in, all the way to the bottom. I love feeling his cock hit back, like I have a sheath custom made to fit him in just the right way. He looked at me while he speared me "That's MY pussy, isn't it?" "yes daddy, it's all yours"..."You're MY bitch aren't you?" , "yes daddy, I belong to you forever"... over and over and over until the single most thought in my mind was MY master, MY Dom, MY man, and I'd do whatever he asked, whenever he wanted because I am his slut, his whore. I completely belong to him. I have his absolute love, protection, and devotion in return for my unconditional love, servitude, and compliance.
As an interesting aside to the whole weekend, my sister finagled her way into the whole pic and was in town that night to help care for my daughter. It was her first time meeting Malcolm and she did her sisterly inquisition. It put Malcolm in a situation to have to declare his intentions, and bless his heart, he didn't balk. He passed her tests with flying colors, and let her know he's in it for the long haul, so not to worry. He made it clear that he loves me immensely, and managed to charm the General herself into thinking he's the greatest guy I've ever dated. No joke tho, he just really is.
Till next time!
Lilith & Malcolm
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Boytoy, pt 2
I honestly have never been in a relationship before where my guy will allow me the freedom to be by myself with another man. It still baffles my mind, and as I told him this morning, makes me wonder if there will be a shoe dropping soon....
That night after the party ended, and everyone except Ian had left was amazing. I love being with Ian, being kissed by him, and feeling his hands smooth my skin everywhere. I crave his touch, need to feel him all over me. He has the softest hair I've ever felt, and I can't get enough of running my fingers thru it, and playing with his curls. He's just simply beautiful. What I really love about Ian, though, is the fact that nothing is taboo with him. I can toss his salad and play with his prostate while I suck his cock deep into my throat. I can suck and bite his nipples and make him groan in pleasure. No part of his body is unavailable to me. I can have it all. I LOVE THAT!!!! I love that I can bring him to a mind blowing climax with my mouth. But what is the most unique thing about Ian? He specializes in making women squirt. Alot.
Yep, Ian can make ANY woman squirt buckets of cum. No joke!! He uses his tongue, and his lips, and his teeth...and then he uses his hand. Jesus GOD, that hand. The night after the party, I was incredibly sore from the pounding Malcolm had given me, so Ian was not able to fist me. But he was able to squeeze 3 fingers in and find the "trigger". And he would rub and rub, and there would be this sensation of painful intensity....of an overwhelming fullness and pressure, and then, just when it would feel like I couldn't take it another second, I'd bear down, and a flood would issue forth. It's not always orgasmic when it happens, but it is such a feeling of unmitigated relief that it's better than orgasmic. Then, when he pushed me past my limit, even as i cried and begged, and told him I couldn't do it again...and he barked YES YOU CAN!.....he pushed me up the peak one more time, and everything in the world flew apart in a million blinding pieces as I came and came and squirted all my fluids on him. I came so hard that my pussy contracted around his fingers and he couldn't pull out. All I could think of was that he'd knotted me, just like a dog, and we were hung up. After about half a bottle of lube, and making me push down to ease him out, we were free, and laughing. A few hours of sleep, and he was right back at it when we woke up again. Everything was so wet....
So, I found that the week after the party, I wanted his hand. I wanted him so bad my pussy would clench every time I'd think of him. If he'd have lived locally, I'd probably have found a way to do him again. It was this clawing need bordering on addiction. I called Malcolm and expressed my need and my concern, even so far as to tell him that maybe I wasn't cut out playing alone. I knew in my heart that I didn't love Malcolm any less, but my GOD, I just NEEDED.....
Ian and I continued to chat via IM, and he felt the same way. He'd had a great time with me and wanted to repeat the experience. I let him know that under no circumstances could I ever do anything without Malcolm's prior knowledge and consent...I will not cheat on him, and I will not hurt the one man that has shown me more love and freedom than I've ever know. Malcolm knew that I was feeling some mental and emotional turmoil over the situation, and he came to take care of it last Wednesday.
Wednesday I knelt to Malcolm again, reaffirming my place in his life as his treasured and loved sub, reaffirming my willingness to accept his will. I was reminded of my role, I was disciplined. Above all I was loved and cherished. Malcolm can be a stern and daunting master when he chooses. I'd not seen that side of him before, and it startled me a bit. But it also induced a healthy dose of respect and admiration for this man that understands me on such a cellular level. He inspires me to trust him bit by bit when he proves his ability to master me. It's hard to express exactly what I mean in this situation...ya kind of have to be there....
Malcolm called me on Thursday to let me know that Ian had contacted him and wanted to come and spend the weekend with me, even knowing that Malcolm would be out of town. Ian was asking permission to have another personal moment with me independent from Malcolm. Malcolm also arranged for it to happen, and laid down his terms to Ian, and let me know that he approved, and wanted me to enjoy myself. I was stunned, really, to know that he'd go the mile to set something like this up for me. It went beyond being an activity he approved of, it became HIS PLEASURE for me to do this. More evidence of Malcolm's unending trust and love of me. I'm really the luckiest woman on earth.
Ian did indeed spend the weekend with me. He was fantastic with my daughter, they did the grilling together, and laughed and joked. He gave me another unbelievable night of unbridled pleasure. I came so hard, for real, that I screamed (into a pillow muffled tight over my mouth) like I was dying, and actually burst most of the capillaries in my forehead, under my eyes, and on my cheeks and chin. LOL, we did laugh about that. I told him he blew the top of my head off, and he proudly affirmed "YES I DID!" LOL, he is so damn cute.
I have incredibly tender feelings for Ian, for he belongs to me now whether he wants it or no. I always take care of what is mine, too. My promise to Ian is to respect and cherish our times together, to nourish him in spirit and friendship, and to have him know that we have his back.
My Ian....to many more nights for all of us baby!
That night after the party ended, and everyone except Ian had left was amazing. I love being with Ian, being kissed by him, and feeling his hands smooth my skin everywhere. I crave his touch, need to feel him all over me. He has the softest hair I've ever felt, and I can't get enough of running my fingers thru it, and playing with his curls. He's just simply beautiful. What I really love about Ian, though, is the fact that nothing is taboo with him. I can toss his salad and play with his prostate while I suck his cock deep into my throat. I can suck and bite his nipples and make him groan in pleasure. No part of his body is unavailable to me. I can have it all. I LOVE THAT!!!! I love that I can bring him to a mind blowing climax with my mouth. But what is the most unique thing about Ian? He specializes in making women squirt. Alot.
Yep, Ian can make ANY woman squirt buckets of cum. No joke!! He uses his tongue, and his lips, and his teeth...and then he uses his hand. Jesus GOD, that hand. The night after the party, I was incredibly sore from the pounding Malcolm had given me, so Ian was not able to fist me. But he was able to squeeze 3 fingers in and find the "trigger". And he would rub and rub, and there would be this sensation of painful intensity....of an overwhelming fullness and pressure, and then, just when it would feel like I couldn't take it another second, I'd bear down, and a flood would issue forth. It's not always orgasmic when it happens, but it is such a feeling of unmitigated relief that it's better than orgasmic. Then, when he pushed me past my limit, even as i cried and begged, and told him I couldn't do it again...and he barked YES YOU CAN!.....he pushed me up the peak one more time, and everything in the world flew apart in a million blinding pieces as I came and came and squirted all my fluids on him. I came so hard that my pussy contracted around his fingers and he couldn't pull out. All I could think of was that he'd knotted me, just like a dog, and we were hung up. After about half a bottle of lube, and making me push down to ease him out, we were free, and laughing. A few hours of sleep, and he was right back at it when we woke up again. Everything was so wet....
So, I found that the week after the party, I wanted his hand. I wanted him so bad my pussy would clench every time I'd think of him. If he'd have lived locally, I'd probably have found a way to do him again. It was this clawing need bordering on addiction. I called Malcolm and expressed my need and my concern, even so far as to tell him that maybe I wasn't cut out playing alone. I knew in my heart that I didn't love Malcolm any less, but my GOD, I just NEEDED.....
Ian and I continued to chat via IM, and he felt the same way. He'd had a great time with me and wanted to repeat the experience. I let him know that under no circumstances could I ever do anything without Malcolm's prior knowledge and consent...I will not cheat on him, and I will not hurt the one man that has shown me more love and freedom than I've ever know. Malcolm knew that I was feeling some mental and emotional turmoil over the situation, and he came to take care of it last Wednesday.
Wednesday I knelt to Malcolm again, reaffirming my place in his life as his treasured and loved sub, reaffirming my willingness to accept his will. I was reminded of my role, I was disciplined. Above all I was loved and cherished. Malcolm can be a stern and daunting master when he chooses. I'd not seen that side of him before, and it startled me a bit. But it also induced a healthy dose of respect and admiration for this man that understands me on such a cellular level. He inspires me to trust him bit by bit when he proves his ability to master me. It's hard to express exactly what I mean in this situation...ya kind of have to be there....
Malcolm called me on Thursday to let me know that Ian had contacted him and wanted to come and spend the weekend with me, even knowing that Malcolm would be out of town. Ian was asking permission to have another personal moment with me independent from Malcolm. Malcolm also arranged for it to happen, and laid down his terms to Ian, and let me know that he approved, and wanted me to enjoy myself. I was stunned, really, to know that he'd go the mile to set something like this up for me. It went beyond being an activity he approved of, it became HIS PLEASURE for me to do this. More evidence of Malcolm's unending trust and love of me. I'm really the luckiest woman on earth.
Ian did indeed spend the weekend with me. He was fantastic with my daughter, they did the grilling together, and laughed and joked. He gave me another unbelievable night of unbridled pleasure. I came so hard, for real, that I screamed (into a pillow muffled tight over my mouth) like I was dying, and actually burst most of the capillaries in my forehead, under my eyes, and on my cheeks and chin. LOL, we did laugh about that. I told him he blew the top of my head off, and he proudly affirmed "YES I DID!" LOL, he is so damn cute.
I have incredibly tender feelings for Ian, for he belongs to me now whether he wants it or no. I always take care of what is mine, too. My promise to Ian is to respect and cherish our times together, to nourish him in spirit and friendship, and to have him know that we have his back.
My Ian....to many more nights for all of us baby!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
NO, I definitely didn't forget about my boytoy....
At the end of my blog about our second party (And We Forgot the Camera), I mentioned that there would be another blog forthcoming about the evening I got to spend with Ian, independent from Malcolm. Ian became my boytoy that night, someone that I had complete free reign with to do ANYTHING. Wow, where to start?
I suppose we start back at the way beginning. I've been talking with Ian via IM for a few months, and we've become great friends. He's funny, we share many of the same interests, and he's sexy as hell. Honestly, I was so surprised and delighted when I actually saw a pic of him. He's GORGEOUS!! All pale ivory skin, dark dark hair and eyes, and that mischievous Irish glint when he smiles. He feels my size...not towering above me, but someone I can be almost on eye level with. It reminded me so much of Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake...and her Micah. There is a sensual intimacy of being able to rest your arms on someones shoulders and meet their eyes steadily, allowing them to trust of being able to read your lust, your love, your fears as they dance across the shine in your eyes. Ian is younger than I am, one of the very very few lovers I've had that isn't significantly older than I am. He has a sense of playfulness, and everything about him feels fresh. I feel younger when I'm with him...he truly brings out my girlishness. He makes me shy, he makes me blush. I care for him.
I met him at the hotel, that day. He arrived early to keep me company since Malcolm couldn't arrive until later. We went shopping, and I smiled to myself to notice how the girls coveted him as they looked at him. I'd keep having this little thought....DAMN he's fine! And it would make me giggle to myself. He let me fuss over him, he held my hand, he took care of me, and then we went to a great dinner. He's one of those men that is so easy to talk to, to laugh with. The kind of man who will make sure your cheeks are sore from smiling so much.
Sexually speaking, my boy toy is amazingly adventurous. He up for just about anything most days, and allows me the most delicious liberties with his body. As long as I don't hurt him, I can experiment to my heart's delight. He's incredibly oral, his finest pleasure being to give, in his words, 80% of the time. And he has those magic hands. I still don't know what he does, but some day, I SWEAR to God, I will watch him do it to another woman, and learn his secret. He's an amazing kisser, has a fantastic touch...not too light, not too hard. He also is a hugger. I love huggers because they are so cozy. He has that ability to wrap his body around me and surround me without making me feel suffocated. He's one of the VERY few men I've been able to fall asleep with, perhaps because I just trust him and feel safe.
He catered to me at the party, and I loved that. He made me feel so attractive and special. He was so incredibly considerate, even remembering to bring me a drink when he went upstairs from the dance with "the boys" to relax for a minute and have a beer. He was available to me when I wanted body contact, and always willing and eager for hugs, touches and kisses.
He's here now...more later!
I suppose we start back at the way beginning. I've been talking with Ian via IM for a few months, and we've become great friends. He's funny, we share many of the same interests, and he's sexy as hell. Honestly, I was so surprised and delighted when I actually saw a pic of him. He's GORGEOUS!! All pale ivory skin, dark dark hair and eyes, and that mischievous Irish glint when he smiles. He feels my size...not towering above me, but someone I can be almost on eye level with. It reminded me so much of Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake...and her Micah. There is a sensual intimacy of being able to rest your arms on someones shoulders and meet their eyes steadily, allowing them to trust of being able to read your lust, your love, your fears as they dance across the shine in your eyes. Ian is younger than I am, one of the very very few lovers I've had that isn't significantly older than I am. He has a sense of playfulness, and everything about him feels fresh. I feel younger when I'm with him...he truly brings out my girlishness. He makes me shy, he makes me blush. I care for him.
I met him at the hotel, that day. He arrived early to keep me company since Malcolm couldn't arrive until later. We went shopping, and I smiled to myself to notice how the girls coveted him as they looked at him. I'd keep having this little thought....DAMN he's fine! And it would make me giggle to myself. He let me fuss over him, he held my hand, he took care of me, and then we went to a great dinner. He's one of those men that is so easy to talk to, to laugh with. The kind of man who will make sure your cheeks are sore from smiling so much.
Sexually speaking, my boy toy is amazingly adventurous. He up for just about anything most days, and allows me the most delicious liberties with his body. As long as I don't hurt him, I can experiment to my heart's delight. He's incredibly oral, his finest pleasure being to give, in his words, 80% of the time. And he has those magic hands. I still don't know what he does, but some day, I SWEAR to God, I will watch him do it to another woman, and learn his secret. He's an amazing kisser, has a fantastic touch...not too light, not too hard. He also is a hugger. I love huggers because they are so cozy. He has that ability to wrap his body around me and surround me without making me feel suffocated. He's one of the VERY few men I've been able to fall asleep with, perhaps because I just trust him and feel safe.
He catered to me at the party, and I loved that. He made me feel so attractive and special. He was so incredibly considerate, even remembering to bring me a drink when he went upstairs from the dance with "the boys" to relax for a minute and have a beer. He was available to me when I wanted body contact, and always willing and eager for hugs, touches and kisses.
He's here now...more later!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Little Bit About our D/s Relationship....
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Thursday, June 4, 2009
Our First Anniversary
I just HAD to take a moment...to wish my partner in this endeavor, the man that makes this all so much fun a happy 1st year together anniversary. I'm not much for celebrating anniversaries, and to me we don't really have a "date" that officially marks the time. But I am happy to be celebrating a year together with Malcolm all the more so because of all the people who told me it wasn't serious, he'd never stick around, I was just a toy, it was just about sex, he couldn't commit long term, he had lots of "friends". I also laugh because for as many people were saying this shit to ME, there were just as many telling HIM all the reasons I wasn't any good for him. I was still holding on to my ex, I wasn't ready to move on, I was needy, I was hurt, I was naive, I wasn't worldly enough for him, I was too young.
LOL, today he asked me to be his leading lady...OF COURSE silly man. I asked him if this meant I'd put in enough time to become greedy and demanding, to which I got a RESOUNDING... "uhh, no." LOL, maybe next year then.
I think that perhaps because we entered into our relationship as swingers, and have strengthened and solidified our bond and remained swingers that people thought it would never last. But we've pledged honesty to each other, no matter what. That goes a long way into making everything bearable. He fulfills me. He says I do the same for him. As the year has gone by, I've struggled with trust, will continue to struggle with that issue. But I love him dearly, and he loves me back, in ways no man has ever bothered to shower me in love before. It means so much, and I'm proud to be his lady.
So HEY BABY!!! WE MADE IT A YEAR!!! I'm so glad we're still sharing the road together, can't wait to see what's coming up around the next corner.
LOL, today he asked me to be his leading lady...OF COURSE silly man. I asked him if this meant I'd put in enough time to become greedy and demanding, to which I got a RESOUNDING... "uhh, no." LOL, maybe next year then.
I think that perhaps because we entered into our relationship as swingers, and have strengthened and solidified our bond and remained swingers that people thought it would never last. But we've pledged honesty to each other, no matter what. That goes a long way into making everything bearable. He fulfills me. He says I do the same for him. As the year has gone by, I've struggled with trust, will continue to struggle with that issue. But I love him dearly, and he loves me back, in ways no man has ever bothered to shower me in love before. It means so much, and I'm proud to be his lady.
So HEY BABY!!! WE MADE IT A YEAR!!! I'm so glad we're still sharing the road together, can't wait to see what's coming up around the next corner.
Monday, June 1, 2009
And We Forgot the Camera!
This past weekend, we hosted our second event. We decided, on the advice of a friend, to piggy back our party with a BBW dance being hosted in Braintree, Mass. I'd never been to a BBW dance, and was really looking forward to feeling a sense of camaraderie with other women of size, and meeting some incredible new friends. Our group had originally had about 12 people that committed to coming with us, but in the end we were a party of 6. Our biggest stumbling block, currently, is people who are no-shows or cancellers. I understand that life does happen, but I feel that there must be a better way to deal with this issue. Somehow we need to find a way to get more commitment from our groupies.
My disappointment at the dance itself was twofold. Firstly, it wasn't a well attended event. From the website (www.amplebeauties.com) most of the dances draw between 400-600 attendees. I would have been surprised if there had been 100 people there. Secondly, there was no camaraderie. I did receive some shy smiles from some of the women I smiled at, but mostly I felt like other women were sizing me up, and not in a good way. I suppose, since these dances are marketed to singles, that there is an aura of competition. AND, I discovered that this group is definitely not comfortable with bi-sexuality. We didn't stay at the dance too too long. LOL
Now, the party back in our room? It was outrageous. I drank a little bit too much and was feeling mighty brave. Malcolm was waiting for us ladies up there, having gone back to the room for a cold beer, and avoiding the 8.50 charge for booze down at the dance. His friend was there too, and our last man stayed at the dance a few more moments to chat with some ladies he was acquainted with. It got a bit hazy for me, the night becoming a series of pictures and feelings in my mind and body. So fulfilling. I walked into the room and virtually attacked Malcolm, kissing him deeply, repeatedly, and pulling him down to the bed and on top of me. His weight feels so good when he covers me... I really wanted to suck his cock, I'd been looking forward to it for awhile, and my pussy was dripping wet anticipating it. I got on my knees before him and he unzipped his jeans, slid down his Polo boxers, and unleashed his beautiful beautiful cock. It was so hard, with a pearl of precum at the tip just waiting for me. I licked it carefully, then sucked the head, getting it wet. I worked further down the shaft feeling the head glide along the palate of my mouth. Malcolm became impatient with me and fisted my hair good and tight, and drove his cock down my throat. He really tastes so good to me, I can only think that his taste, his smell all work to drive me further into heat when I'm around him. He fucked my mouth, loving that fact that he can gag me repeatedly. He loves feeling all the muscles in my throat convulse around him when he buries the head of his cock into my throat, enough so that i not only gag on him, but swallow on him too. OHHH, so damn good.
I'd made my outfit for the dance, and the skirt was micro mini short. He helped me up, and got me onto the bed on my hands and knees, raised up that so short skirt to find me naked underneath. He forced his cock into my pussy, my very wet and juicy pussy, until his balls slapped my clit, and he fucked me hard and deep. His friend LJ, presented me with my first glimpse of his beautiful cock, and pressed it to my lips. LJ is large, long and thick. Not so thick that you can't manage it, but thick enough to have to be careful of teeth. But it's an exciting kind of danger, and Malcolm loved seeing me swallow as much as I could. I couldn't get down to the bottom, but I did get close. Malcolm took to pounding into me, pushing me hard to make me go down harder, farther on his friend. What an amazing feeling to have one man caressing your ass and fucking you hard and deep, and another caressing your hair and fucking your mouth. I came, and screamed out my pleasure all around LJ's cock.
We stopped then, got up and went to attend to Susan, who was sitting and watching us. Susan couldn't play all the way, as sometimes women have those pesky monthly issues, but we were NOT going to let her get away with nothing. I needed to play with her beautiful breasts, and kiss her soft mouth, feel her hair under my fingers. And as I played it aroused Malcolm, who loves watching me with other women. He slipped his cock into my ass, fucking me there while my mouth was busy on Susan. LJ had moved to tend to our other female guest, Elaine, and our last guy, Ian, had finally made it back to the room. LJ and Ian worked Elaine over well, one mouth on her pussy, one cock in her mouth. And as we finished with Susan for a moment and I went to sit on the bed, Malcolm demanded an ass to mouth blow job.
Some will find the concept disgusting, some others arousing as hell. At that moment I was somewhere in the middle, and turned on by the thought that Malcolm would push me to go taboo in the middle of so many people. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I am his sub, he is my dom. I am the flower in his hand....I also do as my dom asks, as is his right. I felt rather than heard a collective gasp, amazement and lust from the men, surprise from the women. It made me braver, made me lose my inhibitions. He went down my throat again, and I swallowed. I lived to tell you all about it. LOL, and for the record? Yes, I'd do it again.
I went to the bathroom to clean up the mess Malcolm had made of me. Everyone had taken a break, drinking some beer, eating some snacks, refueling for more activity. I toweled off, laid on the bed to rest a moment, and within moments was embroiled in one of those surreal moments that float now in my memory. I lay on my left side, with a little satisfied smile on my lips and I felt the bed give behind me as LJ came up to snug against my ass. He rubbed that magnificent cock all over my ass, and gently opened me, and filled me, pressing in, and in... I was good, breathing and relaxing, and Malcolm came to me. I thought he'd come to kiss me, and hold me while his friend fucked my ass. He'd never shared that portal before, it was a new experience for both of us. But no, he was hard, so hard and aroused. He lifted my leg and placed it over his shoulder, opening me up wide in a scissor position. He nudged the lips of my pussy apart with his cock, waiting on his friend's groove. He slammed his cock home, and, in contrapuntal rhythm, I had my first vaginal/anal Double Penetration. I know the angle was hard on Malcolm, but the feeling was dreamlike, I still can't believe I actually did it. And like the greedy bitch I am, I want it again. And Again.
I haven't forgotten about Ian...he was ready when Malcolm and LJ were finished, wiping me down, giving me a drink, and when he was confident that I was ok, taking his turn. His mouth hit my clit and I was so sensitive I jumped, harder into his lips and he laughed a little evil laugh. I felt his fingers making their way inside of me, rubbing me, stretching me more. He licked and sucked, and his chin beard rasped, and his stubble provided so much sensation it was mindblowing. And that hand of his...it was filling me, but it was doing something, finding a spot that made this incredible pressure fill me to the point of painful uncomfortableness. He knew, he gave his little evil laugh as his hand began to fuck me in earnest, as his mouth sucked my clit hard. It was this base guttural feeling, I couldn't have stopped myself from fucking his hand to save my life. I knew I needed something, had to relieve that awful pressure, and it made me beg, and cry, and moan, and scream. And Scream, and scream, and.....push....and Squirt.
And squirt, and squirt, and he'd start the cycle over again while the guys all came running over to see the puddle collecting under my ass and drenching Ian's face and neck and hand. My god, I couldn't even breathe anymore....and in the midst of all that, Malcolm flipped me over and fucked me and fucked me and slapped my ass until it hurt and made me cum and squirt on him and completely lose control of myself. The party had wrapped up by then, and Malcolm and I raced each other to the shower where we tenderly washed each other clean. Malcolm couldn't stay with me because of a family obligation, and the fact that he was LJ's ride. He left me in the company of his trusted friend Ian for the night, not willing to abandon me after all that to solitude in a strange place. I was given free reign with my boy toy for the evening. But that will have to be another blog.
I love Malcolm so very much, and these experiences that we create together make everything so special.
My disappointment at the dance itself was twofold. Firstly, it wasn't a well attended event. From the website (www.amplebeauties.com) most of the dances draw between 400-600 attendees. I would have been surprised if there had been 100 people there. Secondly, there was no camaraderie. I did receive some shy smiles from some of the women I smiled at, but mostly I felt like other women were sizing me up, and not in a good way. I suppose, since these dances are marketed to singles, that there is an aura of competition. AND, I discovered that this group is definitely not comfortable with bi-sexuality. We didn't stay at the dance too too long. LOL
Now, the party back in our room? It was outrageous. I drank a little bit too much and was feeling mighty brave. Malcolm was waiting for us ladies up there, having gone back to the room for a cold beer, and avoiding the 8.50 charge for booze down at the dance. His friend was there too, and our last man stayed at the dance a few more moments to chat with some ladies he was acquainted with. It got a bit hazy for me, the night becoming a series of pictures and feelings in my mind and body. So fulfilling. I walked into the room and virtually attacked Malcolm, kissing him deeply, repeatedly, and pulling him down to the bed and on top of me. His weight feels so good when he covers me... I really wanted to suck his cock, I'd been looking forward to it for awhile, and my pussy was dripping wet anticipating it. I got on my knees before him and he unzipped his jeans, slid down his Polo boxers, and unleashed his beautiful beautiful cock. It was so hard, with a pearl of precum at the tip just waiting for me. I licked it carefully, then sucked the head, getting it wet. I worked further down the shaft feeling the head glide along the palate of my mouth. Malcolm became impatient with me and fisted my hair good and tight, and drove his cock down my throat. He really tastes so good to me, I can only think that his taste, his smell all work to drive me further into heat when I'm around him. He fucked my mouth, loving that fact that he can gag me repeatedly. He loves feeling all the muscles in my throat convulse around him when he buries the head of his cock into my throat, enough so that i not only gag on him, but swallow on him too. OHHH, so damn good.
I'd made my outfit for the dance, and the skirt was micro mini short. He helped me up, and got me onto the bed on my hands and knees, raised up that so short skirt to find me naked underneath. He forced his cock into my pussy, my very wet and juicy pussy, until his balls slapped my clit, and he fucked me hard and deep. His friend LJ, presented me with my first glimpse of his beautiful cock, and pressed it to my lips. LJ is large, long and thick. Not so thick that you can't manage it, but thick enough to have to be careful of teeth. But it's an exciting kind of danger, and Malcolm loved seeing me swallow as much as I could. I couldn't get down to the bottom, but I did get close. Malcolm took to pounding into me, pushing me hard to make me go down harder, farther on his friend. What an amazing feeling to have one man caressing your ass and fucking you hard and deep, and another caressing your hair and fucking your mouth. I came, and screamed out my pleasure all around LJ's cock.
We stopped then, got up and went to attend to Susan, who was sitting and watching us. Susan couldn't play all the way, as sometimes women have those pesky monthly issues, but we were NOT going to let her get away with nothing. I needed to play with her beautiful breasts, and kiss her soft mouth, feel her hair under my fingers. And as I played it aroused Malcolm, who loves watching me with other women. He slipped his cock into my ass, fucking me there while my mouth was busy on Susan. LJ had moved to tend to our other female guest, Elaine, and our last guy, Ian, had finally made it back to the room. LJ and Ian worked Elaine over well, one mouth on her pussy, one cock in her mouth. And as we finished with Susan for a moment and I went to sit on the bed, Malcolm demanded an ass to mouth blow job.
Some will find the concept disgusting, some others arousing as hell. At that moment I was somewhere in the middle, and turned on by the thought that Malcolm would push me to go taboo in the middle of so many people. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I am his sub, he is my dom. I am the flower in his hand....I also do as my dom asks, as is his right. I felt rather than heard a collective gasp, amazement and lust from the men, surprise from the women. It made me braver, made me lose my inhibitions. He went down my throat again, and I swallowed. I lived to tell you all about it. LOL, and for the record? Yes, I'd do it again.
I went to the bathroom to clean up the mess Malcolm had made of me. Everyone had taken a break, drinking some beer, eating some snacks, refueling for more activity. I toweled off, laid on the bed to rest a moment, and within moments was embroiled in one of those surreal moments that float now in my memory. I lay on my left side, with a little satisfied smile on my lips and I felt the bed give behind me as LJ came up to snug against my ass. He rubbed that magnificent cock all over my ass, and gently opened me, and filled me, pressing in, and in... I was good, breathing and relaxing, and Malcolm came to me. I thought he'd come to kiss me, and hold me while his friend fucked my ass. He'd never shared that portal before, it was a new experience for both of us. But no, he was hard, so hard and aroused. He lifted my leg and placed it over his shoulder, opening me up wide in a scissor position. He nudged the lips of my pussy apart with his cock, waiting on his friend's groove. He slammed his cock home, and, in contrapuntal rhythm, I had my first vaginal/anal Double Penetration. I know the angle was hard on Malcolm, but the feeling was dreamlike, I still can't believe I actually did it. And like the greedy bitch I am, I want it again. And Again.
I haven't forgotten about Ian...he was ready when Malcolm and LJ were finished, wiping me down, giving me a drink, and when he was confident that I was ok, taking his turn. His mouth hit my clit and I was so sensitive I jumped, harder into his lips and he laughed a little evil laugh. I felt his fingers making their way inside of me, rubbing me, stretching me more. He licked and sucked, and his chin beard rasped, and his stubble provided so much sensation it was mindblowing. And that hand of his...it was filling me, but it was doing something, finding a spot that made this incredible pressure fill me to the point of painful uncomfortableness. He knew, he gave his little evil laugh as his hand began to fuck me in earnest, as his mouth sucked my clit hard. It was this base guttural feeling, I couldn't have stopped myself from fucking his hand to save my life. I knew I needed something, had to relieve that awful pressure, and it made me beg, and cry, and moan, and scream. And Scream, and scream, and.....push....and Squirt.
And squirt, and squirt, and he'd start the cycle over again while the guys all came running over to see the puddle collecting under my ass and drenching Ian's face and neck and hand. My god, I couldn't even breathe anymore....and in the midst of all that, Malcolm flipped me over and fucked me and fucked me and slapped my ass until it hurt and made me cum and squirt on him and completely lose control of myself. The party had wrapped up by then, and Malcolm and I raced each other to the shower where we tenderly washed each other clean. Malcolm couldn't stay with me because of a family obligation, and the fact that he was LJ's ride. He left me in the company of his trusted friend Ian for the night, not willing to abandon me after all that to solitude in a strange place. I was given free reign with my boy toy for the evening. But that will have to be another blog.
I love Malcolm so very much, and these experiences that we create together make everything so special.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Cheater?
There must be something in the air lately. Malcolm and I have a few friends of ours that are really going through some tough times in their relationships. Not cut and dry stuff though, it's all this weird, gray area, i dunno, WTF is THAT kind of shit. Some friends of ours in Mass have been fighting for some time now. They are a lifestyle couple, and have set some pretty broad parameters for themselves. They allow each other the freedom to play separately with other people. They also have conflicting work schedules so that they don't have the opportunity to see each other very often. So we ask ourselves, when they approach Malcolm to bitch about each other, do they have the right to accuse the other of an infidelity? I just dunno....it's too hard to put it all into perspective. How can you "cheat" when the understanding is you see who you wanna, when you wanna, as often as you wanna? Doesn't that absolve the other person of EVER cheating? I think what the underlying issue is, is that one half of the couple gives lip service to the agreement, but doesn't really want their partner to carry through with it, even though they have every intention of taking advantage of that agreement every chance they get. Kind of a case of "Do as I say and not as I do." But life just doesn't work like that...or shouldn't work like that. Fair's fair, as I see it. And if that is the agreement, then it holds true for both partners, like it or not. AND, if you can't deal with that arrangement, then it's time for both partners to sit down and talk it thru, renegotiate the deal.
On the other side of the fence is the issue of "phoneboning and sexting". We've actually been talking about this issue in a group that I participate in. People like to send nasty text messages to each other, nasty pictures, jokes, whatever. But at what point, if that behavior isn't engaged with your partner, does it become cheating, if ever? We used to talk about phone sex, cyber sex, and cam to cam as alternate forms of cheating on your spouse/significant other. It's a breach of trust because you are engaging in a reciprocated dialogue that is about sex or sexual stuff. Some people get really caught up into it because, I feel, it's a form of pornography. Interactive Pornography. And porn can be very addicting. I think another reason people engage in this is because it just feels good to know another human being finds you desirable. BUT, when is it over the line? Malcolm has a friend that he's introduced me to, a male friend. I chat with this guy, always with Malcolm's full knowledge. We've exchanged risque pics, which I've shown to Malcolm. Malcolm and I have talked about bringing him into our life as more than a friend. My feeling is that if I started talking to this gentleman without Malcolm's knowledge, and was carrying on an imaginary sex life with him, plotting and planning to get together whenever, WITHOUT MALCOLM, then the infidelity has already been started. I'd have broken trust by simply being a Capulet in Malcolm's courtyard. The intrinsic value of honesty and open communication in a relationship, especially a lifestyle relationship, lies in the fact that as partners and lifemates, you have each others back. When you become the one holding the knife....does it really start to matter so much whether or not you actually plunge it into your partner's back? Or is the act of contemplating the action enough?
So we have all these on the one hand, on the other hands going on..... But what about the issue of shattered trust? Regardless of the actual infidelity, the concept of cheating leaves mental scars that last quite a while. I went through this with Jachin. He has this habit of calling and texting every woman in a tri-state area it seemed, talking about everything and the kitchen sink, planning rendezvouses, and instant messaging all his girlies right in front of me. Some of them he was boning. Others never came to anything. But the fact was that I was always wondering and waiting for the shoe to drop.....I still do. No matter that I love Malcolm beyond reason, and that he's not really given me a reason to doubt. I wonder. And I know it is a by-product of the last relationship, the dregs I've yet to clear out and put in the trash.
I suppose an even better question to all this is.... For couples in the lifestyle...why would one partner or the other HAVE to cheat or sneak at ALL???? The idea of being in the lifestyle is that you get to have your cake and eat it too....with your spouse's/significant other's full knowledge and consent. What thought or desire drives someone to need more than that? Is it the whimsy of getting away with it? Is it a sex addiction? Is it just because they are grown and they can? I don't know the answer to this. But as I watch some of my friends ache because of this, I truly wish I did. I went through this already. I came out stronger and better on the other side for it. I hope these people that I know and care deeply for.....ALL of them, I hope they come through this scenario better for it in the end, even though it may not seem possible right now.
On the other side of the fence is the issue of "phoneboning and sexting". We've actually been talking about this issue in a group that I participate in. People like to send nasty text messages to each other, nasty pictures, jokes, whatever. But at what point, if that behavior isn't engaged with your partner, does it become cheating, if ever? We used to talk about phone sex, cyber sex, and cam to cam as alternate forms of cheating on your spouse/significant other. It's a breach of trust because you are engaging in a reciprocated dialogue that is about sex or sexual stuff. Some people get really caught up into it because, I feel, it's a form of pornography. Interactive Pornography. And porn can be very addicting. I think another reason people engage in this is because it just feels good to know another human being finds you desirable. BUT, when is it over the line? Malcolm has a friend that he's introduced me to, a male friend. I chat with this guy, always with Malcolm's full knowledge. We've exchanged risque pics, which I've shown to Malcolm. Malcolm and I have talked about bringing him into our life as more than a friend. My feeling is that if I started talking to this gentleman without Malcolm's knowledge, and was carrying on an imaginary sex life with him, plotting and planning to get together whenever, WITHOUT MALCOLM, then the infidelity has already been started. I'd have broken trust by simply being a Capulet in Malcolm's courtyard. The intrinsic value of honesty and open communication in a relationship, especially a lifestyle relationship, lies in the fact that as partners and lifemates, you have each others back. When you become the one holding the knife....does it really start to matter so much whether or not you actually plunge it into your partner's back? Or is the act of contemplating the action enough?
So we have all these on the one hand, on the other hands going on..... But what about the issue of shattered trust? Regardless of the actual infidelity, the concept of cheating leaves mental scars that last quite a while. I went through this with Jachin. He has this habit of calling and texting every woman in a tri-state area it seemed, talking about everything and the kitchen sink, planning rendezvouses, and instant messaging all his girlies right in front of me. Some of them he was boning. Others never came to anything. But the fact was that I was always wondering and waiting for the shoe to drop.....I still do. No matter that I love Malcolm beyond reason, and that he's not really given me a reason to doubt. I wonder. And I know it is a by-product of the last relationship, the dregs I've yet to clear out and put in the trash.
I suppose an even better question to all this is.... For couples in the lifestyle...why would one partner or the other HAVE to cheat or sneak at ALL???? The idea of being in the lifestyle is that you get to have your cake and eat it too....with your spouse's/significant other's full knowledge and consent. What thought or desire drives someone to need more than that? Is it the whimsy of getting away with it? Is it a sex addiction? Is it just because they are grown and they can? I don't know the answer to this. But as I watch some of my friends ache because of this, I truly wish I did. I went through this already. I came out stronger and better on the other side for it. I hope these people that I know and care deeply for.....ALL of them, I hope they come through this scenario better for it in the end, even though it may not seem possible right now.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Da Rules?
So being the moderator of a new group affords me the opportunity to reflect upon all the reasons why people get into this lifestyle. I entered while I was a couple with my ex,who I'll call Jachin, after his repeated suggestions inspired my imagination to want to try. We'd already been a couple for awhile when we entered...at least a year or so, and it seemed a great way to take our relationship to the next level both sexually and emotionally. We'd talk about what we wanted, what our expectations were, and there was some trial and error in the beginning. Most of the error centered around us not sitting down and creating our ground rules: what would I absolutely not stand for, and what could he absolutely not put up with. What we certainly did both agree on was that we would always do it together, always be in the same room with each other. We'd always participate with the other because the joy and beauty in it for each of us was watching the other being pleased. There were never any disasters, and the errors were small things. I remember, at our first Merava Party, engaging with "The Kissing Man", LOL. It wasn't until a few months later that Jachin divulged that it kinda bothered him to see me seriously kissing another man. I told him that I'd wished I'd known upfront about it because it was a point of negotiation for me. On the one hand I surely never wanted to hurt him in any way. But on the other, if it was only a minor annoyance, I'd hoped we could work on it because I loved kissing very much, like an act of foreplay. He conceded that point, and I conceded wanting a 3sum with another guy, something he was most uncomfortable with. Jachin & I were always quite good at negotiating. But then, he is a salesman. LOL
Entering the lifestyle as a couple is an entirely different experience from the singles point of view. The couples scene is so much friendlier, I think. Most, if not all, of the people I've been blessed to meet are sane, secure, loving, and open people that not only make great lifestyle companions, but also everyday friends. I did have occasion to attend parties that were mainly single folk, and I found it a much more dog eat dog environment. The difference being that the single girls wanted alone time with the guys, hoping to build a great enough sexual experience to start a relationship off of, and the single guys, well, they are a class of their own.
Single guys, are by nature, predators. Most parties exclude them because they tend to hunt in packs and circle like hungry jackals. LOL, ok, so I exaggerate, but the honest truth is that the majority of single men are relentless in their pursuit of pussy. They will not listen to No. That oh-so-important golden rule of swinging...No Means No doesn't seem to stick in their craw too well. They will ask, and ask repeatedly to meet with the female part of a couple. They will ask to meet her alone, will make vows of secrecy, will urge her to cheat on her partner. Will try making her believe it's all good, or that somehow her man is out doing the same, so why not? If nothing else, they will wait to pounce on the chink in the relationship, when and if it appears. I've had to place countless guys on ignore because no was simply not their final answer. It's irritating, and inconsiderate. However, for couples that are not secure in their relationship? What a nightmare. Imagine attending a swing party with your lover and meeting a single guy that you play with. Now imagine that scenario if you are with a partner that you are having trust issues in your relationship with. What a nightmare of a situation. You've created a door for your partner to creep, and if nothing else, will always wonder if that could be the case.
For couples that think the lifestyle is the answer to their problems? You are looking in the wrong direction. Insecurity breeds mistrust. And the one thing you have to have in leaps and bounds in this lifestyle is honesty, communication, and trust. Love is a big part of it, and selflessness too. But the heart of the matter is trusting that no matter who you and your partner play with, that at the end of the night, you know and love the person you are returning home with. In fact, I would argue that swinging is nothing but gravy to an already great relationship. In both the relationships I've entered this lifestyle in, the sexual aspect of it couldn't be better. Jachin and I had a solid and wonderful sex life, to which swinging added a tender new dimension to, as well as allowing me to explore my bi nature for both of our enjoyments. We both had alot of love for each other before a party, and the after party of just the two of us was even more intense.
With Malcolm? Well shit. Malcolm is a level of sexual freedom and abandon I've never known before. Malcolm has only one rule for me to follow, and that is that I belong to him. The rest is up to my creative mind to interpret. Malcolm and I played separate in the beginning of our relationship when things were less intense between us emotionally. We had each others back, and knew who we were going home with, but that was the gist of the evening. As things have progressed for us we simply find more fulfillment in playing in the same room. He's beautiful to watch, and I love to see him, no matter what. He enjoys watching me play as well, and loves joining me even more. We view our most satisfying sexual enjoyment, however, as the sex between just the two of us, our private time. The party stuff is mostly foreplay for us as our tastes and desires have gone beyond what we can practice in front of other people. Malcolm, especially, looks forward to that alone time most of all.
Essential to the lifestyle is honesty. This lifestyle is most definitely not about cheating on your partner. This hearkens back to the trust issues...if you can't trust your partner not to cheat, why would you want to introduce them to other people in the lifestyle. Cheaters are really frowned upon in this capacity simply because nobody wants their relationship tampered with, PERIOD. It was the failing point between Jachin and I...the cheating thing. I have confidence in Malcolm. I feel really great knowing that he will laugh the silly bitches away that might consider trying to tamper with us. In fact, it's the first time in my life I actually welcome them to try it. I would love to see the bloodbath he leaves behind with his razor sharp tongue. Lies and deceit erode the confidence in relationships however, and for couples that can't get past that sticking point, this lifestyle isn't for them. Fix yourselves first, fix your relationships second, and maybe, just maybe you might try this later on.
Along with the basic rule of No Means No, I'd say the next biggest rule would be to not fuck with another couple's relationship integrity. What I mean by that is there are all kinds of people that swing. Some swing with their spouses or Long Term Partners. Some swing with FWB's (Friends With Benefits), and some swing solo. To try and "steal" another person's mate or date is one of the most heinous things you can do, simply, again, because of that trust factor. Whether you are male or female, who the hell would trust you once they know you go after other people's men/women? The thing about the lifestyle community is this...they are a small-ish group, and usually close knit. It does get out, and it does get around, QUICK! It has to. We protect our own, to the best of our ability. If you are engaged in an activity that you don't want others to know about....you are doing something wrong, and yes, you are going to be hated and despised. Common sense and respect for people that you play with go a long way.
Drama is the other thing that is despised in this lifestyle. The last thing people want to deal with are other people's issues, whatever they are. The whole premise of being in the lifestyle is to relax and enjoy. Don't screw that up with your personal bullshit. Leave that at home, and if you can't, then DON'T GO TO THE DAMN PARTY!!
My last thing is about protection. For God's sake, this is 2009, and everyone has had basic classes on sexually transmitted diseases. Want some scary statistics??? One in Five people have Herpes. One in ten have Chlamydia, 1 in 300 have Gonorrhea. There are lots of ways to provide yourself with basic protection, like condoms, for instance. Of course the only guaranteed way to avoid all disease is abstinence, but a condom goes a long way. It still blows my mind when people play bareback with strangers. Imagine this...it only takes one time to get an incurable disease...like playing Russian roulette but with AIDS or Syphilis instead of a bullet. Also, if you are playing bareback with someone, you are having sex not only with them, but with all the people that they have had sex with, and with all the people THOSE people have had sex with, on and on. Never think you are the first person that person is granting the privilege of playing bareback with. That in itself should be a wake up call. Even worse if you play bareback and are in a committed relationship, because then you actually put not only yourself at risk, but your partner too. How selfish. Cover UP!!
So I guess here are my most basic rules of thumb....
Be Honest
Be Trustworthy
Have Respect for Yourself and Others
Be Drama Free
No Means No
Use Common Sense
PLAY SAFE!!!!
If you can't do these things, then for FUCKS sake, GET OUT of the Lifestyle, it is NOT for you!!!
Entering the lifestyle as a couple is an entirely different experience from the singles point of view. The couples scene is so much friendlier, I think. Most, if not all, of the people I've been blessed to meet are sane, secure, loving, and open people that not only make great lifestyle companions, but also everyday friends. I did have occasion to attend parties that were mainly single folk, and I found it a much more dog eat dog environment. The difference being that the single girls wanted alone time with the guys, hoping to build a great enough sexual experience to start a relationship off of, and the single guys, well, they are a class of their own.
Single guys, are by nature, predators. Most parties exclude them because they tend to hunt in packs and circle like hungry jackals. LOL, ok, so I exaggerate, but the honest truth is that the majority of single men are relentless in their pursuit of pussy. They will not listen to No. That oh-so-important golden rule of swinging...No Means No doesn't seem to stick in their craw too well. They will ask, and ask repeatedly to meet with the female part of a couple. They will ask to meet her alone, will make vows of secrecy, will urge her to cheat on her partner. Will try making her believe it's all good, or that somehow her man is out doing the same, so why not? If nothing else, they will wait to pounce on the chink in the relationship, when and if it appears. I've had to place countless guys on ignore because no was simply not their final answer. It's irritating, and inconsiderate. However, for couples that are not secure in their relationship? What a nightmare. Imagine attending a swing party with your lover and meeting a single guy that you play with. Now imagine that scenario if you are with a partner that you are having trust issues in your relationship with. What a nightmare of a situation. You've created a door for your partner to creep, and if nothing else, will always wonder if that could be the case.
For couples that think the lifestyle is the answer to their problems? You are looking in the wrong direction. Insecurity breeds mistrust. And the one thing you have to have in leaps and bounds in this lifestyle is honesty, communication, and trust. Love is a big part of it, and selflessness too. But the heart of the matter is trusting that no matter who you and your partner play with, that at the end of the night, you know and love the person you are returning home with. In fact, I would argue that swinging is nothing but gravy to an already great relationship. In both the relationships I've entered this lifestyle in, the sexual aspect of it couldn't be better. Jachin and I had a solid and wonderful sex life, to which swinging added a tender new dimension to, as well as allowing me to explore my bi nature for both of our enjoyments. We both had alot of love for each other before a party, and the after party of just the two of us was even more intense.
With Malcolm? Well shit. Malcolm is a level of sexual freedom and abandon I've never known before. Malcolm has only one rule for me to follow, and that is that I belong to him. The rest is up to my creative mind to interpret. Malcolm and I played separate in the beginning of our relationship when things were less intense between us emotionally. We had each others back, and knew who we were going home with, but that was the gist of the evening. As things have progressed for us we simply find more fulfillment in playing in the same room. He's beautiful to watch, and I love to see him, no matter what. He enjoys watching me play as well, and loves joining me even more. We view our most satisfying sexual enjoyment, however, as the sex between just the two of us, our private time. The party stuff is mostly foreplay for us as our tastes and desires have gone beyond what we can practice in front of other people. Malcolm, especially, looks forward to that alone time most of all.
Essential to the lifestyle is honesty. This lifestyle is most definitely not about cheating on your partner. This hearkens back to the trust issues...if you can't trust your partner not to cheat, why would you want to introduce them to other people in the lifestyle. Cheaters are really frowned upon in this capacity simply because nobody wants their relationship tampered with, PERIOD. It was the failing point between Jachin and I...the cheating thing. I have confidence in Malcolm. I feel really great knowing that he will laugh the silly bitches away that might consider trying to tamper with us. In fact, it's the first time in my life I actually welcome them to try it. I would love to see the bloodbath he leaves behind with his razor sharp tongue. Lies and deceit erode the confidence in relationships however, and for couples that can't get past that sticking point, this lifestyle isn't for them. Fix yourselves first, fix your relationships second, and maybe, just maybe you might try this later on.
Along with the basic rule of No Means No, I'd say the next biggest rule would be to not fuck with another couple's relationship integrity. What I mean by that is there are all kinds of people that swing. Some swing with their spouses or Long Term Partners. Some swing with FWB's (Friends With Benefits), and some swing solo. To try and "steal" another person's mate or date is one of the most heinous things you can do, simply, again, because of that trust factor. Whether you are male or female, who the hell would trust you once they know you go after other people's men/women? The thing about the lifestyle community is this...they are a small-ish group, and usually close knit. It does get out, and it does get around, QUICK! It has to. We protect our own, to the best of our ability. If you are engaged in an activity that you don't want others to know about....you are doing something wrong, and yes, you are going to be hated and despised. Common sense and respect for people that you play with go a long way.
Drama is the other thing that is despised in this lifestyle. The last thing people want to deal with are other people's issues, whatever they are. The whole premise of being in the lifestyle is to relax and enjoy. Don't screw that up with your personal bullshit. Leave that at home, and if you can't, then DON'T GO TO THE DAMN PARTY!!
My last thing is about protection. For God's sake, this is 2009, and everyone has had basic classes on sexually transmitted diseases. Want some scary statistics??? One in Five people have Herpes. One in ten have Chlamydia, 1 in 300 have Gonorrhea. There are lots of ways to provide yourself with basic protection, like condoms, for instance. Of course the only guaranteed way to avoid all disease is abstinence, but a condom goes a long way. It still blows my mind when people play bareback with strangers. Imagine this...it only takes one time to get an incurable disease...like playing Russian roulette but with AIDS or Syphilis instead of a bullet. Also, if you are playing bareback with someone, you are having sex not only with them, but with all the people that they have had sex with, and with all the people THOSE people have had sex with, on and on. Never think you are the first person that person is granting the privilege of playing bareback with. That in itself should be a wake up call. Even worse if you play bareback and are in a committed relationship, because then you actually put not only yourself at risk, but your partner too. How selfish. Cover UP!!
So I guess here are my most basic rules of thumb....
Be Honest
Be Trustworthy
Have Respect for Yourself and Others
Be Drama Free
No Means No
Use Common Sense
PLAY SAFE!!!!
If you can't do these things, then for FUCKS sake, GET OUT of the Lifestyle, it is NOT for you!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
How It All Began
Everyone has a beginning, right? Some first moment when it all started, that spark, the magic. Sometimes it's subtle, other times it's explosive. I had only recently terminated a long term relationship, and I'd decided to go to a lifestyle party geared more toward singles. I was reticent about it, not really 100% into it, but figured it was my life I wanted to reclaim, and I was going to move on if it killed me. LOL
~I was nervous, going down. It was my first party without my now Ex, and it just didn't feel quite right. I passed the exit, 48, and felt a little lump settle in my stomach, but then I got pissed, and couldn't wait to get there. Paul, one of the group moderators had promised he'd have my back today, not letting it degenerate into a gang bang, making sure that if other men fucked me, they'd all be wearing condoms. I find myself not thinking about the right choices when I'm in the thick of it, I become mindless, wholly focused on the pleasure riding thru my blood, almost like taking drugs... And I realize I have to hold back now because I have to be able to make the right choices on my own. I miss that part of couplehood...knowing that someone loves you and is looking out for you. It's not quite as free without it.
I got there in just under 2 hours. No stops made it a shorter ride. No booze for me today either, I've got to be rational, and I've got to be able to drive home as well. Paul was waiting for me, with a big hug, and reassurances..."it's going to be ok, I'll be with you today". He and Janet, and Malcolm, the other guy there, were all smoking a huge blunt, and the smoke was thick in her house. I may not be inhaling, but I knew I was still getting high. I sat with Paul, on the leather sofa, while everyone introduced themselves to me. LOL, Janet has a super poor memory, and didn't remember that I'd already met her and Paul. It's ok though, it gave me the chance to get more hugs and luv. Malcolm was startling, to look at. It was a little like seeing my ex, same bald head, same goatee, almost the same age. Same earring that my ex used to wear when I first met him. But thats where his similarities ended. He was really dark, with tattoos all over his chest and arms, and back, the tightest ass I'd ever seen, and had eyes like Tupac. Paul grabbed my hand, and wasted no time leading me to Janet's bedroom. He asked if i wanted the door closed, and I said no...Janet & Malcolm seemed busy, I assumed they'd be busy for awhile. Paul undressed me, telling me how he had been waiting for me for awhile now, and that he intended to make me scream. He laid me back on the bed, pushed my thighs apart, and looked up my body. When he saw me looking back at him, he told me he was going to lick me blind. He spread my pussy with his hands, kissed the insides of my thighs until they were shaking, then finally put his tongue where I wanted it and needed it. He was soft and gentle, and my God, it felt so good. I couldn't help sighing. It wasn't screaming time, definitely not yet, but his tongue slowly brushing over my clit was like warm brandy hitting the pit of your stomach. I could hear Janet's voice coming closer, but I kept my eyes closed...i just wanted to feel this. I was holding my breasts, and pinching and rolling my own nipples, just because it felt nice. A set of hands took my hands away, and a warm mouth closed over the tip, swirling and sucking my pebble hard nipple. It was so good, I pushed my back up so he'd take more into his mouth. Paul was going quicker now...flicking over and over, and it was making me breathless. I couldn't cum, but it felt like I wanted to. Malcolm knelt over my head, his large cock hanging near my mouth. Please.....I was begging, I needed so much to have it. He let me have it, but i wanted it deep, and his angle wasn't there. I pressed his thighs, and he knew. He knew what i wanted so he began to fuck my mouth, lightly, softly. And then he let me take him all. He was in my throat...I gagged, then settled...trying to breathe as he pressed a little deeper. He lay on my body, and then it was HIS mouth on my pussy, Paul holding my hand. Paul telling me it was ok, to relax. And this mouth, this tongue that lapped at me like I was sweet cream and I was so fucking wet. I had a cock down my throat, a mouth on my clit sucking me in time with my pulse, and his fingers in my pussy and my ass. And I shattered, screaming with his cock lodged deep in my throat. But he wasn't done, he wouldn't let me stop. He left my mouth and got even busier about eating me, and Paul was there, ready to fill my mouth. I was ready for him, i wanted to show him I could take him, and make him feel better than he ever had. He liked it when I whimpered around his cock, liked seeing Malcolm suck me so hard it raised my hips off the bed, made my fists bunch up the sheets. I could feel my wetness pouring out of me, down my ass, all over my thighs. Even Janet could see it, "look at how fucking juicy she is" she cried, and I stretched out my hand so that she could dance her clit on my fingers.
Finally he let me stop, let me breathe again. Janet was laying next to me, and he moved to her pussy. That wouldn't do at all. I got up, pushed him aside, and put MY face in her pussy, and 2 of my fingers up inside her, rubbing and stroking her from inside and out. I felt hands on my ass then...rubbing and caressing...and then MMMM. A hard cock fucking me. Janet could feel him fucking me. More than that, she could feel me fucking him back...It rocked my mouth hard against her clit, and sent my fingers in and out of her. I could feel my ass bouncing, and I knew he liked it. And then then there was a mouth on my clit again. I couldn't move anymore...both men held me still. Malcolm so that he could lick me, and Paul so that he could fuck me hard. It was amazing, and I screamed against Janet's clit, and made her cum, made her squirt. And they still weren't done with me yet....
We rested some, and got a snack. As usual, I'd not eaten on the way down...nerves and all. So I found suddenly that I was famished. And I couldn't make any spit...my mouth was completely dried out. I had some cases of diet coke...but they were out in the car, and I was naked. I slipped a translucent top on, one I had been wearing over a tank top...one that would readily let everyone know that I was naked. I had the look of someone who had been completely fucked....hair all bedraggled, makeup melted off, and that bright reddish glow I get when it's made me work for it. I was desperate enough to go to my car virtually naked...but thankfully Paul did the deed, catering to me like I was a china doll, something fragile that had to be carefully handled. LOL. He'd caught me crying a bit, and was worried I wasn't having a good time. I really was, but those thoughts....memories....choked me up. I sucked it up, went to wash my face, and tidy up a bit, and was made to sit in the middle of the two men.
Another guy had shown up by this time. I wasn't sure what to make of him, wasn't sure if I'd have to entertain him at some point..."take one for the team" as it were. Paul was absolutely against my doing so, letting me know that I had no obligation but to entertain exactly who I wanted to. I guess I felt like if the guy just joined into the fun, I'd be acting bitchy to say no, when everyone ELSE was playing. Thankfully I never had to make such a decision...I still don't know if it was because Paul set it up like that, or if the guy never had any intention of joining anyways.
I felt exhausted, and I was still sweaty...so I went and lay down in the spare room...naked again, but on my belly, ass up. I have a huge ass, a bubble butt I've been told. I also had some ass admirers, and they'd filled my head with enough compliments that day to make me feel ok about being on such blatant display. Laying there, resting, I felt hands on my ass, smoothing over it, squeezing, caressing. Lips kissing...so gentle, it was hypnotic. I didn't know who it was, hadn't opened my eyes to see. But I felt that tongue....Malcolm. He licked me, and bit my ass....then held me down. I didn't know what he was about...i wasn't going anywhere...but then I realized what he had in mind, and why he wanted to keep me from running. He ran his tongue down to my pussy again, lapping at the wetness, and drawing it up higher. He ran his tongue around my ass and rimmed me, HARD. I'd never thought I'd like that. Someone had tried it years ago, and it had tickled unbearably. But he kept drawing long lazy circles, firm circles, then took his fingers and went inside, stretching and opening me. I wanted to tell him no, but he'd shush me and go back to what he was doing, alternately fucking my ass with his fingers and sucking hard on my clit. I know my ass was circling, begging him to fuck me. I wanted to be taken hard, I wanted it to hurt me. I wanted to feel his hand landing on my ass and leaving a print. I was whimpering, and begging, and pushing my ass back at him while he would laugh, and say..."down, babygirl". I heard the rustle of the condom wrapper, and knew I'd finally get what I wanted. He was being too easy...to gentle. He had his hands on my hips, and he slid in, pressing firmly until he was all the way in, until his balls slapped my pussy. "Harder" I told him. "How hard?" he asked? I found his eyes with mine, and said "Hard".
He wrapped his fist in my hair then and yanked my head back. "YES YES!!" I cried, FINALLY...finally....and the first smack hit. It was hard enough to make me jump and gasp. He landed 3 more, and I could feel my ass cheek heating up, and my nipples getting diamond hard. And still he fucked my ass, holding my hair like reins. I was so close, I wanted to cum, but I just couldn't get there....
He pulled out really quick, and replaced his cock with his tongue...fucking my ass with his tongue, and then sucking my clit into his mouth until I screamed my release, and felt my pussy creaming all over his face. He put his fingers into my wet, wet pussy, then brought them up to my mouth, and made me suck them. Sweet...I really do taste sweet...
Malcolm and I drove home together that fateful day, bonding in the car, exchanging numbers, having great conversation, and promising each other we'd see each other again. It's been a year now, and what started out as playful fun evolved into something neither one of us anticipated. We haven't looked back since....
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