Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Boytoy, pt 2
I honestly have never been in a relationship before where my guy will allow me the freedom to be by myself with another man. It still baffles my mind, and as I told him this morning, makes me wonder if there will be a shoe dropping soon....
That night after the party ended, and everyone except Ian had left was amazing. I love being with Ian, being kissed by him, and feeling his hands smooth my skin everywhere. I crave his touch, need to feel him all over me. He has the softest hair I've ever felt, and I can't get enough of running my fingers thru it, and playing with his curls. He's just simply beautiful. What I really love about Ian, though, is the fact that nothing is taboo with him. I can toss his salad and play with his prostate while I suck his cock deep into my throat. I can suck and bite his nipples and make him groan in pleasure. No part of his body is unavailable to me. I can have it all. I LOVE THAT!!!! I love that I can bring him to a mind blowing climax with my mouth. But what is the most unique thing about Ian? He specializes in making women squirt. Alot.
Yep, Ian can make ANY woman squirt buckets of cum. No joke!! He uses his tongue, and his lips, and his teeth...and then he uses his hand. Jesus GOD, that hand. The night after the party, I was incredibly sore from the pounding Malcolm had given me, so Ian was not able to fist me. But he was able to squeeze 3 fingers in and find the "trigger". And he would rub and rub, and there would be this sensation of painful intensity....of an overwhelming fullness and pressure, and then, just when it would feel like I couldn't take it another second, I'd bear down, and a flood would issue forth. It's not always orgasmic when it happens, but it is such a feeling of unmitigated relief that it's better than orgasmic. Then, when he pushed me past my limit, even as i cried and begged, and told him I couldn't do it again...and he barked YES YOU CAN!.....he pushed me up the peak one more time, and everything in the world flew apart in a million blinding pieces as I came and came and squirted all my fluids on him. I came so hard that my pussy contracted around his fingers and he couldn't pull out. All I could think of was that he'd knotted me, just like a dog, and we were hung up. After about half a bottle of lube, and making me push down to ease him out, we were free, and laughing. A few hours of sleep, and he was right back at it when we woke up again. Everything was so wet....
So, I found that the week after the party, I wanted his hand. I wanted him so bad my pussy would clench every time I'd think of him. If he'd have lived locally, I'd probably have found a way to do him again. It was this clawing need bordering on addiction. I called Malcolm and expressed my need and my concern, even so far as to tell him that maybe I wasn't cut out playing alone. I knew in my heart that I didn't love Malcolm any less, but my GOD, I just NEEDED.....
Ian and I continued to chat via IM, and he felt the same way. He'd had a great time with me and wanted to repeat the experience. I let him know that under no circumstances could I ever do anything without Malcolm's prior knowledge and consent...I will not cheat on him, and I will not hurt the one man that has shown me more love and freedom than I've ever know. Malcolm knew that I was feeling some mental and emotional turmoil over the situation, and he came to take care of it last Wednesday.
Wednesday I knelt to Malcolm again, reaffirming my place in his life as his treasured and loved sub, reaffirming my willingness to accept his will. I was reminded of my role, I was disciplined. Above all I was loved and cherished. Malcolm can be a stern and daunting master when he chooses. I'd not seen that side of him before, and it startled me a bit. But it also induced a healthy dose of respect and admiration for this man that understands me on such a cellular level. He inspires me to trust him bit by bit when he proves his ability to master me. It's hard to express exactly what I mean in this situation...ya kind of have to be there....
Malcolm called me on Thursday to let me know that Ian had contacted him and wanted to come and spend the weekend with me, even knowing that Malcolm would be out of town. Ian was asking permission to have another personal moment with me independent from Malcolm. Malcolm also arranged for it to happen, and laid down his terms to Ian, and let me know that he approved, and wanted me to enjoy myself. I was stunned, really, to know that he'd go the mile to set something like this up for me. It went beyond being an activity he approved of, it became HIS PLEASURE for me to do this. More evidence of Malcolm's unending trust and love of me. I'm really the luckiest woman on earth.
Ian did indeed spend the weekend with me. He was fantastic with my daughter, they did the grilling together, and laughed and joked. He gave me another unbelievable night of unbridled pleasure. I came so hard, for real, that I screamed (into a pillow muffled tight over my mouth) like I was dying, and actually burst most of the capillaries in my forehead, under my eyes, and on my cheeks and chin. LOL, we did laugh about that. I told him he blew the top of my head off, and he proudly affirmed "YES I DID!" LOL, he is so damn cute.
I have incredibly tender feelings for Ian, for he belongs to me now whether he wants it or no. I always take care of what is mine, too. My promise to Ian is to respect and cherish our times together, to nourish him in spirit and friendship, and to have him know that we have his back.
My Ian....to many more nights for all of us baby!
That night after the party ended, and everyone except Ian had left was amazing. I love being with Ian, being kissed by him, and feeling his hands smooth my skin everywhere. I crave his touch, need to feel him all over me. He has the softest hair I've ever felt, and I can't get enough of running my fingers thru it, and playing with his curls. He's just simply beautiful. What I really love about Ian, though, is the fact that nothing is taboo with him. I can toss his salad and play with his prostate while I suck his cock deep into my throat. I can suck and bite his nipples and make him groan in pleasure. No part of his body is unavailable to me. I can have it all. I LOVE THAT!!!! I love that I can bring him to a mind blowing climax with my mouth. But what is the most unique thing about Ian? He specializes in making women squirt. Alot.
Yep, Ian can make ANY woman squirt buckets of cum. No joke!! He uses his tongue, and his lips, and his teeth...and then he uses his hand. Jesus GOD, that hand. The night after the party, I was incredibly sore from the pounding Malcolm had given me, so Ian was not able to fist me. But he was able to squeeze 3 fingers in and find the "trigger". And he would rub and rub, and there would be this sensation of painful intensity....of an overwhelming fullness and pressure, and then, just when it would feel like I couldn't take it another second, I'd bear down, and a flood would issue forth. It's not always orgasmic when it happens, but it is such a feeling of unmitigated relief that it's better than orgasmic. Then, when he pushed me past my limit, even as i cried and begged, and told him I couldn't do it again...and he barked YES YOU CAN!.....he pushed me up the peak one more time, and everything in the world flew apart in a million blinding pieces as I came and came and squirted all my fluids on him. I came so hard that my pussy contracted around his fingers and he couldn't pull out. All I could think of was that he'd knotted me, just like a dog, and we were hung up. After about half a bottle of lube, and making me push down to ease him out, we were free, and laughing. A few hours of sleep, and he was right back at it when we woke up again. Everything was so wet....
So, I found that the week after the party, I wanted his hand. I wanted him so bad my pussy would clench every time I'd think of him. If he'd have lived locally, I'd probably have found a way to do him again. It was this clawing need bordering on addiction. I called Malcolm and expressed my need and my concern, even so far as to tell him that maybe I wasn't cut out playing alone. I knew in my heart that I didn't love Malcolm any less, but my GOD, I just NEEDED.....
Ian and I continued to chat via IM, and he felt the same way. He'd had a great time with me and wanted to repeat the experience. I let him know that under no circumstances could I ever do anything without Malcolm's prior knowledge and consent...I will not cheat on him, and I will not hurt the one man that has shown me more love and freedom than I've ever know. Malcolm knew that I was feeling some mental and emotional turmoil over the situation, and he came to take care of it last Wednesday.
Wednesday I knelt to Malcolm again, reaffirming my place in his life as his treasured and loved sub, reaffirming my willingness to accept his will. I was reminded of my role, I was disciplined. Above all I was loved and cherished. Malcolm can be a stern and daunting master when he chooses. I'd not seen that side of him before, and it startled me a bit. But it also induced a healthy dose of respect and admiration for this man that understands me on such a cellular level. He inspires me to trust him bit by bit when he proves his ability to master me. It's hard to express exactly what I mean in this situation...ya kind of have to be there....
Malcolm called me on Thursday to let me know that Ian had contacted him and wanted to come and spend the weekend with me, even knowing that Malcolm would be out of town. Ian was asking permission to have another personal moment with me independent from Malcolm. Malcolm also arranged for it to happen, and laid down his terms to Ian, and let me know that he approved, and wanted me to enjoy myself. I was stunned, really, to know that he'd go the mile to set something like this up for me. It went beyond being an activity he approved of, it became HIS PLEASURE for me to do this. More evidence of Malcolm's unending trust and love of me. I'm really the luckiest woman on earth.
Ian did indeed spend the weekend with me. He was fantastic with my daughter, they did the grilling together, and laughed and joked. He gave me another unbelievable night of unbridled pleasure. I came so hard, for real, that I screamed (into a pillow muffled tight over my mouth) like I was dying, and actually burst most of the capillaries in my forehead, under my eyes, and on my cheeks and chin. LOL, we did laugh about that. I told him he blew the top of my head off, and he proudly affirmed "YES I DID!" LOL, he is so damn cute.
I have incredibly tender feelings for Ian, for he belongs to me now whether he wants it or no. I always take care of what is mine, too. My promise to Ian is to respect and cherish our times together, to nourish him in spirit and friendship, and to have him know that we have his back.
My Ian....to many more nights for all of us baby!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Little Bit About our D/s Relationship....
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Thursday, May 14, 2009
Da Rules?
So being the moderator of a new group affords me the opportunity to reflect upon all the reasons why people get into this lifestyle. I entered while I was a couple with my ex,who I'll call Jachin, after his repeated suggestions inspired my imagination to want to try. We'd already been a couple for awhile when we entered...at least a year or so, and it seemed a great way to take our relationship to the next level both sexually and emotionally. We'd talk about what we wanted, what our expectations were, and there was some trial and error in the beginning. Most of the error centered around us not sitting down and creating our ground rules: what would I absolutely not stand for, and what could he absolutely not put up with. What we certainly did both agree on was that we would always do it together, always be in the same room with each other. We'd always participate with the other because the joy and beauty in it for each of us was watching the other being pleased. There were never any disasters, and the errors were small things. I remember, at our first Merava Party, engaging with "The Kissing Man", LOL. It wasn't until a few months later that Jachin divulged that it kinda bothered him to see me seriously kissing another man. I told him that I'd wished I'd known upfront about it because it was a point of negotiation for me. On the one hand I surely never wanted to hurt him in any way. But on the other, if it was only a minor annoyance, I'd hoped we could work on it because I loved kissing very much, like an act of foreplay. He conceded that point, and I conceded wanting a 3sum with another guy, something he was most uncomfortable with. Jachin & I were always quite good at negotiating. But then, he is a salesman. LOL
Entering the lifestyle as a couple is an entirely different experience from the singles point of view. The couples scene is so much friendlier, I think. Most, if not all, of the people I've been blessed to meet are sane, secure, loving, and open people that not only make great lifestyle companions, but also everyday friends. I did have occasion to attend parties that were mainly single folk, and I found it a much more dog eat dog environment. The difference being that the single girls wanted alone time with the guys, hoping to build a great enough sexual experience to start a relationship off of, and the single guys, well, they are a class of their own.
Single guys, are by nature, predators. Most parties exclude them because they tend to hunt in packs and circle like hungry jackals. LOL, ok, so I exaggerate, but the honest truth is that the majority of single men are relentless in their pursuit of pussy. They will not listen to No. That oh-so-important golden rule of swinging...No Means No doesn't seem to stick in their craw too well. They will ask, and ask repeatedly to meet with the female part of a couple. They will ask to meet her alone, will make vows of secrecy, will urge her to cheat on her partner. Will try making her believe it's all good, or that somehow her man is out doing the same, so why not? If nothing else, they will wait to pounce on the chink in the relationship, when and if it appears. I've had to place countless guys on ignore because no was simply not their final answer. It's irritating, and inconsiderate. However, for couples that are not secure in their relationship? What a nightmare. Imagine attending a swing party with your lover and meeting a single guy that you play with. Now imagine that scenario if you are with a partner that you are having trust issues in your relationship with. What a nightmare of a situation. You've created a door for your partner to creep, and if nothing else, will always wonder if that could be the case.
For couples that think the lifestyle is the answer to their problems? You are looking in the wrong direction. Insecurity breeds mistrust. And the one thing you have to have in leaps and bounds in this lifestyle is honesty, communication, and trust. Love is a big part of it, and selflessness too. But the heart of the matter is trusting that no matter who you and your partner play with, that at the end of the night, you know and love the person you are returning home with. In fact, I would argue that swinging is nothing but gravy to an already great relationship. In both the relationships I've entered this lifestyle in, the sexual aspect of it couldn't be better. Jachin and I had a solid and wonderful sex life, to which swinging added a tender new dimension to, as well as allowing me to explore my bi nature for both of our enjoyments. We both had alot of love for each other before a party, and the after party of just the two of us was even more intense.
With Malcolm? Well shit. Malcolm is a level of sexual freedom and abandon I've never known before. Malcolm has only one rule for me to follow, and that is that I belong to him. The rest is up to my creative mind to interpret. Malcolm and I played separate in the beginning of our relationship when things were less intense between us emotionally. We had each others back, and knew who we were going home with, but that was the gist of the evening. As things have progressed for us we simply find more fulfillment in playing in the same room. He's beautiful to watch, and I love to see him, no matter what. He enjoys watching me play as well, and loves joining me even more. We view our most satisfying sexual enjoyment, however, as the sex between just the two of us, our private time. The party stuff is mostly foreplay for us as our tastes and desires have gone beyond what we can practice in front of other people. Malcolm, especially, looks forward to that alone time most of all.
Essential to the lifestyle is honesty. This lifestyle is most definitely not about cheating on your partner. This hearkens back to the trust issues...if you can't trust your partner not to cheat, why would you want to introduce them to other people in the lifestyle. Cheaters are really frowned upon in this capacity simply because nobody wants their relationship tampered with, PERIOD. It was the failing point between Jachin and I...the cheating thing. I have confidence in Malcolm. I feel really great knowing that he will laugh the silly bitches away that might consider trying to tamper with us. In fact, it's the first time in my life I actually welcome them to try it. I would love to see the bloodbath he leaves behind with his razor sharp tongue. Lies and deceit erode the confidence in relationships however, and for couples that can't get past that sticking point, this lifestyle isn't for them. Fix yourselves first, fix your relationships second, and maybe, just maybe you might try this later on.
Along with the basic rule of No Means No, I'd say the next biggest rule would be to not fuck with another couple's relationship integrity. What I mean by that is there are all kinds of people that swing. Some swing with their spouses or Long Term Partners. Some swing with FWB's (Friends With Benefits), and some swing solo. To try and "steal" another person's mate or date is one of the most heinous things you can do, simply, again, because of that trust factor. Whether you are male or female, who the hell would trust you once they know you go after other people's men/women? The thing about the lifestyle community is this...they are a small-ish group, and usually close knit. It does get out, and it does get around, QUICK! It has to. We protect our own, to the best of our ability. If you are engaged in an activity that you don't want others to know about....you are doing something wrong, and yes, you are going to be hated and despised. Common sense and respect for people that you play with go a long way.
Drama is the other thing that is despised in this lifestyle. The last thing people want to deal with are other people's issues, whatever they are. The whole premise of being in the lifestyle is to relax and enjoy. Don't screw that up with your personal bullshit. Leave that at home, and if you can't, then DON'T GO TO THE DAMN PARTY!!
My last thing is about protection. For God's sake, this is 2009, and everyone has had basic classes on sexually transmitted diseases. Want some scary statistics??? One in Five people have Herpes. One in ten have Chlamydia, 1 in 300 have Gonorrhea. There are lots of ways to provide yourself with basic protection, like condoms, for instance. Of course the only guaranteed way to avoid all disease is abstinence, but a condom goes a long way. It still blows my mind when people play bareback with strangers. Imagine this...it only takes one time to get an incurable disease...like playing Russian roulette but with AIDS or Syphilis instead of a bullet. Also, if you are playing bareback with someone, you are having sex not only with them, but with all the people that they have had sex with, and with all the people THOSE people have had sex with, on and on. Never think you are the first person that person is granting the privilege of playing bareback with. That in itself should be a wake up call. Even worse if you play bareback and are in a committed relationship, because then you actually put not only yourself at risk, but your partner too. How selfish. Cover UP!!
So I guess here are my most basic rules of thumb....
Be Honest
Be Trustworthy
Have Respect for Yourself and Others
Be Drama Free
No Means No
Use Common Sense
PLAY SAFE!!!!
If you can't do these things, then for FUCKS sake, GET OUT of the Lifestyle, it is NOT for you!!!
Entering the lifestyle as a couple is an entirely different experience from the singles point of view. The couples scene is so much friendlier, I think. Most, if not all, of the people I've been blessed to meet are sane, secure, loving, and open people that not only make great lifestyle companions, but also everyday friends. I did have occasion to attend parties that were mainly single folk, and I found it a much more dog eat dog environment. The difference being that the single girls wanted alone time with the guys, hoping to build a great enough sexual experience to start a relationship off of, and the single guys, well, they are a class of their own.
Single guys, are by nature, predators. Most parties exclude them because they tend to hunt in packs and circle like hungry jackals. LOL, ok, so I exaggerate, but the honest truth is that the majority of single men are relentless in their pursuit of pussy. They will not listen to No. That oh-so-important golden rule of swinging...No Means No doesn't seem to stick in their craw too well. They will ask, and ask repeatedly to meet with the female part of a couple. They will ask to meet her alone, will make vows of secrecy, will urge her to cheat on her partner. Will try making her believe it's all good, or that somehow her man is out doing the same, so why not? If nothing else, they will wait to pounce on the chink in the relationship, when and if it appears. I've had to place countless guys on ignore because no was simply not their final answer. It's irritating, and inconsiderate. However, for couples that are not secure in their relationship? What a nightmare. Imagine attending a swing party with your lover and meeting a single guy that you play with. Now imagine that scenario if you are with a partner that you are having trust issues in your relationship with. What a nightmare of a situation. You've created a door for your partner to creep, and if nothing else, will always wonder if that could be the case.
For couples that think the lifestyle is the answer to their problems? You are looking in the wrong direction. Insecurity breeds mistrust. And the one thing you have to have in leaps and bounds in this lifestyle is honesty, communication, and trust. Love is a big part of it, and selflessness too. But the heart of the matter is trusting that no matter who you and your partner play with, that at the end of the night, you know and love the person you are returning home with. In fact, I would argue that swinging is nothing but gravy to an already great relationship. In both the relationships I've entered this lifestyle in, the sexual aspect of it couldn't be better. Jachin and I had a solid and wonderful sex life, to which swinging added a tender new dimension to, as well as allowing me to explore my bi nature for both of our enjoyments. We both had alot of love for each other before a party, and the after party of just the two of us was even more intense.
With Malcolm? Well shit. Malcolm is a level of sexual freedom and abandon I've never known before. Malcolm has only one rule for me to follow, and that is that I belong to him. The rest is up to my creative mind to interpret. Malcolm and I played separate in the beginning of our relationship when things were less intense between us emotionally. We had each others back, and knew who we were going home with, but that was the gist of the evening. As things have progressed for us we simply find more fulfillment in playing in the same room. He's beautiful to watch, and I love to see him, no matter what. He enjoys watching me play as well, and loves joining me even more. We view our most satisfying sexual enjoyment, however, as the sex between just the two of us, our private time. The party stuff is mostly foreplay for us as our tastes and desires have gone beyond what we can practice in front of other people. Malcolm, especially, looks forward to that alone time most of all.
Essential to the lifestyle is honesty. This lifestyle is most definitely not about cheating on your partner. This hearkens back to the trust issues...if you can't trust your partner not to cheat, why would you want to introduce them to other people in the lifestyle. Cheaters are really frowned upon in this capacity simply because nobody wants their relationship tampered with, PERIOD. It was the failing point between Jachin and I...the cheating thing. I have confidence in Malcolm. I feel really great knowing that he will laugh the silly bitches away that might consider trying to tamper with us. In fact, it's the first time in my life I actually welcome them to try it. I would love to see the bloodbath he leaves behind with his razor sharp tongue. Lies and deceit erode the confidence in relationships however, and for couples that can't get past that sticking point, this lifestyle isn't for them. Fix yourselves first, fix your relationships second, and maybe, just maybe you might try this later on.
Along with the basic rule of No Means No, I'd say the next biggest rule would be to not fuck with another couple's relationship integrity. What I mean by that is there are all kinds of people that swing. Some swing with their spouses or Long Term Partners. Some swing with FWB's (Friends With Benefits), and some swing solo. To try and "steal" another person's mate or date is one of the most heinous things you can do, simply, again, because of that trust factor. Whether you are male or female, who the hell would trust you once they know you go after other people's men/women? The thing about the lifestyle community is this...they are a small-ish group, and usually close knit. It does get out, and it does get around, QUICK! It has to. We protect our own, to the best of our ability. If you are engaged in an activity that you don't want others to know about....you are doing something wrong, and yes, you are going to be hated and despised. Common sense and respect for people that you play with go a long way.
Drama is the other thing that is despised in this lifestyle. The last thing people want to deal with are other people's issues, whatever they are. The whole premise of being in the lifestyle is to relax and enjoy. Don't screw that up with your personal bullshit. Leave that at home, and if you can't, then DON'T GO TO THE DAMN PARTY!!
My last thing is about protection. For God's sake, this is 2009, and everyone has had basic classes on sexually transmitted diseases. Want some scary statistics??? One in Five people have Herpes. One in ten have Chlamydia, 1 in 300 have Gonorrhea. There are lots of ways to provide yourself with basic protection, like condoms, for instance. Of course the only guaranteed way to avoid all disease is abstinence, but a condom goes a long way. It still blows my mind when people play bareback with strangers. Imagine this...it only takes one time to get an incurable disease...like playing Russian roulette but with AIDS or Syphilis instead of a bullet. Also, if you are playing bareback with someone, you are having sex not only with them, but with all the people that they have had sex with, and with all the people THOSE people have had sex with, on and on. Never think you are the first person that person is granting the privilege of playing bareback with. That in itself should be a wake up call. Even worse if you play bareback and are in a committed relationship, because then you actually put not only yourself at risk, but your partner too. How selfish. Cover UP!!
So I guess here are my most basic rules of thumb....
Be Honest
Be Trustworthy
Have Respect for Yourself and Others
Be Drama Free
No Means No
Use Common Sense
PLAY SAFE!!!!
If you can't do these things, then for FUCKS sake, GET OUT of the Lifestyle, it is NOT for you!!!
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