The New Guy

Sometime around late winter/early spring, I decided I was going to actively recruit for my group Whispers.  It was time to get some fresh blood into the group.  We needed new ladies, and we needed new men who could actually perform and take care of the ladies of Nightshade House.  A daunting task indeed.

One of the avenues I chose was a Southern New England BBW group located in Connecticut, but drawing a considerable crowd of both men and women from the metro Boston area.  A woman of my acquaintance who runs her own group had always had luck recruiting men, at least, from the group.  So I bucked up and got ready to be miss Chatty Pants.

Of all my strengths, perhaps my greatest is my ability to communicate effectively both verbally and in writing. Of all my failings, is the the fact that I am wholly intolerant of stupidity and ignorance, and often lack the social grace to just let sleeping dogs lie.  So I joined the group, Ample BBW (www.amplebeauties.com/community), a group that I had actually already been a member of for 5 years, and jumped into the chat room.  The women were hostile immediately, and the men....well, they wanted some cam and pic time.  Mostly.  There were on occasion a few men who got into chatting with the hens, and I found them to be engaging, pleasing to the eye from the photographs they posted, and on a couple of occasions, witty.

Once such man, Atlas, did sign up for the group and chat with me a few times.  I confess that I wasn't very attentive during those early chats, merely cursory and succinct with my replies and conversation.  I didn't hear from him often, and mostly expected him to be a lurker within the group...someone who joins and peeps other people's stuff, but never participates.  On the occasion of our May party, I received a text from him letting me know he'd be attending, and driving up from Mass.  I was really happy that he was coming up, and I found myself very curious about him, remembering that he'd been one of those witty people.  At this stage of my game, interesting is way more attention grabbing than sexual.  Our texts held teasing, and a promise of a sharp intellect.

Occasionally, you meet someone where you click instantly.  The physical aspect is attractive, the chemistry, and the ability to communicate on the same level all exist simultaneously.  It's a powerful aphrodisiac, that combination. Add a certain level of sexual frustration, and a man who shows the promise of ability to sate the need.....you can see how that becomes a bit explosive.  Atlas walked through the door, his aura rather pulsing quietly around him, but his eyes.....  His eyes were playful, and smiling.  His voice held intelligence, humor, and curiosity.  He was a bit taken aback by the whole set up of the house, as I gave him a tour.  But he held a sense of humor, and he had warmth.  I liked trying to shock him, but he would draw me into conversation, and the need to shock gave way to my curiosity about him and his thoughts.  I liked making him laugh.  He made ME laugh.  Oh...and he smelled good. He smelled really, really good.

The reality is that Atlas is a hot guy.  He also has the mental capacity to keep my interest, which is a feat unto itself in my world.  I would value him, if I couldn't have him sexually, simply for his fantastic conversation.  I didn't want to push him into feeling he had to put out that night.  As the night wore on, and we huddled more and more into each other, whispering and snickering like two junior highschool kids under the bleachers, my attraction to him grew.  Lilith had perked up her head to see who this new tasty treat was, and was quickly assessing him on a purely primal level.  She wanted to lick him in long, slow strokes not only just to taste him, but to mark her territory.  And amazingly, he wasn't asking me to share, wasn't trying to dip into every woman at the party.  He was quietly and patiently waiting for it to be over so that he could take me, just the two of us, to bed.

I was wicked nervous.  He was so sure of himself, running his hands over me in slow easy strokes, gentling me like a skittish hawk.  He did all those things that made my breath catch in my throat.  Not just orgasm creating things....no, he did huggy lovey snuggly things.  I became not just the ravenous beast that I have been over the last year.  Lilith was hesitant, altogether unsure of how to respond to such a potent touch.  His breath on my neck, his kiss sipping at my mouth, his hands caressing and holding my breasts like treasures.  It demanded MY response to him, not simply that of my mindless, insistent, demanding beast.  With all those patient and gentle things he did to me, he mastered me more thoroughly in one night than most men have in years.  He shattered me with orgasms, made me squirt for him repeatedly.  He used my mouth for his pleasure, all the while keeping me foremost in my own mind.  He held me like I mattered to him.  Like he would tuck me along side him and keep me safe and cherished.  He was in my head, in my body, and his delicious, beautiful scent wrapped me like a warm blanket.

But hey, wait.  This is supposed to be a casual encounter, right?  WTF??

I left in the wee hours of the morning struggling not to say anything ludicrous or inappropriate.  My innards screamed that he was "home", and leaving him felt so very wrong.  My head said "What the hell just happened here?".  I walked to my car looking at the mist rising over the river.  I drove home a wreck, crawled into bed at 5 am, and passed out vowing to myself to just let it be.  Parties and people happen, and I should stop over-analyzing and just let a dog be a dog.  True?

I couldn't stop thinking about him.  He texted me, and one text became two, then three, then more than I could count in a day, a week, or two, or three weeks.  Every day I became more and more accustomed to having him "In my pocket" for the day.  Each of us greeting each other in the morning, checking in several times during the day, and saying goodnite before we slept.  Every day.  Every. Day.  He crept, more and more, into my head with his observations, his cool logic, his humor, and his caring.  Conversations occasionally veered towards "What are we doing here?" and quickly strayed again.  I realized I was developing a problem where Atlas was concerned....because I no longer knew where the line was when it concerned him.  More of a problem than not knowing where the damn line was, was a dawning realization that I didn't care to really know either.

I liked him.  Now what?

Spring Fling, Part 2

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And We Forgot the Camera!

This past weekend, we hosted our second event. We decided, on the advice of a friend, to piggy back our party with a BBW dance being hosted in Braintree, Mass. I'd never been to a BBW dance, and was really looking forward to feeling a sense of camaraderie with other women of size, and meeting some incredible new friends. Our group had originally had about 12 people that committed to coming with us, but in the end we were a party of 6. Our biggest stumbling block, currently, is people who are no-shows or cancellers. I understand that life does happen, but I feel that there must be a better way to deal with this issue. Somehow we need to find a way to get more commitment from our groupies.

My disappointment at the dance itself was twofold. Firstly, it wasn't a well attended event. From the website (www.amplebeauties.com) most of the dances draw between 400-600 attendees. I would have been surprised if there had been 100 people there. Secondly, there was no camaraderie. I did receive some shy smiles from some of the women I smiled at, but mostly I felt like other women were sizing me up, and not in a good way. I suppose, since these dances are marketed to singles, that there is an aura of competition. AND, I discovered that this group is definitely not comfortable with bi-sexuality. We didn't stay at the dance too too long. LOL

Now, the party back in our room? It was outrageous. I drank a little bit too much and was feeling mighty brave. Malcolm was waiting for us ladies up there, having gone back to the room for a cold beer, and avoiding the 8.50 charge for booze down at the dance. His friend was there too, and our last man stayed at the dance a few more moments to chat with some ladies he was acquainted with. It got a bit hazy for me, the night becoming a series of pictures and feelings in my mind and body. So fulfilling. I walked into the room and virtually attacked Malcolm, kissing him deeply, repeatedly, and pulling him down to the bed and on top of me. His weight feels so good when he covers me... I really wanted to suck his cock, I'd been looking forward to it for awhile, and my pussy was dripping wet anticipating it. I got on my knees before him and he unzipped his jeans, slid down his Polo boxers, and unleashed his beautiful beautiful cock. It was so hard, with a pearl of precum at the tip just waiting for me. I licked it carefully, then sucked the head, getting it wet. I worked further down the shaft feeling the head glide along the palate of my mouth. Malcolm became impatient with me and fisted my hair good and tight, and drove his cock down my throat. He really tastes so good to me, I can only think that his taste, his smell all work to drive me further into heat when I'm around him. He fucked my mouth, loving that fact that he can gag me repeatedly. He loves feeling all the muscles in my throat convulse around him when he buries the head of his cock into my throat, enough so that i not only gag on him, but swallow on him too. OHHH, so damn good.

I'd made my outfit for the dance, and the skirt was micro mini short. He helped me up, and got me onto the bed on my hands and knees, raised up that so short skirt to find me naked underneath. He forced his cock into my pussy, my very wet and juicy pussy, until his balls slapped my clit, and he fucked me hard and deep. His friend LJ, presented me with my first glimpse of his beautiful cock, and pressed it to my lips. LJ is large, long and thick. Not so thick that you can't manage it, but thick enough to have to be careful of teeth. But it's an exciting kind of danger, and Malcolm loved seeing me swallow as much as I could. I couldn't get down to the bottom, but I did get close. Malcolm took to pounding into me, pushing me hard to make me go down harder, farther on his friend. What an amazing feeling to have one man caressing your ass and fucking you hard and deep, and another caressing your hair and fucking your mouth. I came, and screamed out my pleasure all around LJ's cock.


We stopped then, got up and went to attend to Susan, who was sitting and watching us. Susan couldn't play all the way, as sometimes women have those pesky monthly issues, but we were NOT going to let her get away with nothing. I needed to play with her beautiful breasts, and kiss her soft mouth, feel her hair under my fingers. And as I played it aroused Malcolm, who loves watching me with other women. He slipped his cock into my ass, fucking me there while my mouth was busy on Susan. LJ had moved to tend to our other female guest, Elaine, and our last guy, Ian, had finally made it back to the room. LJ and Ian worked Elaine over well, one mouth on her pussy, one cock in her mouth. And as we finished with Susan for a moment and I went to sit on the bed, Malcolm demanded an ass to mouth blow job.

Some will find the concept disgusting, some others arousing as hell. At that moment I was somewhere in the middle, and turned on by the thought that Malcolm would push me to go taboo in the middle of so many people. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I am his sub, he is my dom. I am the flower in his hand....I also do as my dom asks, as is his right. I felt rather than heard a collective gasp, amazement and lust from the men, surprise from the women. It made me braver, made me lose my inhibitions. He went down my throat again, and I swallowed. I lived to tell you all about it. LOL, and for the record? Yes, I'd do it again.

I went to the bathroom to clean up the mess Malcolm had made of me. Everyone had taken a break, drinking some beer, eating some snacks, refueling for more activity. I toweled off, laid on the bed to rest a moment, and within moments was embroiled in one of those surreal moments that float now in my memory. I lay on my left side, with a little satisfied smile on my lips and I felt the bed give behind me as LJ came up to snug against my ass. He rubbed that magnificent cock all over my ass, and gently opened me, and filled me, pressing in, and in... I was good, breathing and relaxing, and Malcolm came to me. I thought he'd come to kiss me, and hold me while his friend fucked my ass. He'd never shared that portal before, it was a new experience for both of us. But no, he was hard, so hard and aroused. He lifted my leg and placed it over his shoulder, opening me up wide in a scissor position. He nudged the lips of my pussy apart with his cock, waiting on his friend's groove. He slammed his cock home, and, in contrapuntal rhythm, I had my first vaginal/anal Double Penetration. I know the angle was hard on Malcolm, but the feeling was dreamlike, I still can't believe I actually did it. And like the greedy bitch I am, I want it again. And Again.

I haven't forgotten about Ian...he was ready when Malcolm and LJ were finished, wiping me down, giving me a drink, and when he was confident that I was ok, taking his turn. His mouth hit my clit and I was so sensitive I jumped, harder into his lips and he laughed a little evil laugh. I felt his fingers making their way inside of me, rubbing me, stretching me more. He licked and sucked, and his chin beard rasped, and his stubble provided so much sensation it was mindblowing. And that hand of his...it was filling me, but it was doing something, finding a spot that made this incredible pressure fill me to the point of painful uncomfortableness. He knew, he gave his little evil laugh as his hand began to fuck me in earnest, as his mouth sucked my clit hard. It was this base guttural feeling, I couldn't have stopped myself from fucking his hand to save my life. I knew I needed something, had to relieve that awful pressure, and it made me beg, and cry, and moan, and scream. And Scream, and scream, and.....push....and Squirt.

And squirt, and squirt, and he'd start the cycle over again while the guys all came running over to see the puddle collecting under my ass and drenching Ian's face and neck and hand. My god, I couldn't even breathe anymore....and in the midst of all that, Malcolm flipped me over and fucked me and fucked me and slapped my ass until it hurt and made me cum and squirt on him and completely lose control of myself. The party had wrapped up by then, and Malcolm and I raced each other to the shower where we tenderly washed each other clean. Malcolm couldn't stay with me because of a family obligation, and the fact that he was LJ's ride. He left me in the company of his trusted friend Ian for the night, not willing to abandon me after all that to solitude in a strange place. I was given free reign with my boy toy for the evening. But that will have to be another blog.

I love Malcolm so very much, and these experiences that we create together make everything so special.

In the Beginning...

I've been envisioning this blog for a long time now. Seeing it's existence within the quiet yet active folds of my brain, forming it's breadth and purpose the way we women goddesses often form our perfect children. Those children are conceived, and we wait. But the waiting is an active process where imagination meets reality. This blog will be that child for me. It has matured enough in my mental and emotional processes to be birthed. And so the beginning.....sloppy, joy filled, tremulous.....

I wish to chronicle a journey here, my journey and that of my partner. We are swingers enjoying an amazing life, but more than that, we defy all the odds. I am a fat girl, he is a black man. We are a BBW interracial couple, but holy cow do we have some incredible fun. My purpose is to open your eyes to a lifestyle that many consider taboo, dirty, slutty, harebrained, or otherwise unfit for "normal" people. My other purpose is to open people's eyes to how beautiful every woman can be....short, tall, fat, skinny... But mostly to hammer away the point that BBW's, or BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN are gorgeous, desirable, beautiful women just the way they are. My partner and I are committed to enabling women to love themselves for who they are NOW...not what someone else thinks they should become. I've struggled with body image my whole life. I still do most days because it's not something you can let go of after a lifetime of programming to believe you aren't quite right. This is my real journey. The journey to share my discovery of just how right I really am, in all the ways that matter most.

I hope you will pardon me while I struggle to put this together in a cohesive manner. I'm looking forward to sharing the past and present with everyone that cares to walk along side me for a bit.