Whatta Man

Another amazing week has me smiling those little private smiles I can't help but get when he does those special things he does to please me. Today was one of those days you remember for a long time, beautiful weather, walking hand in hand with him, and watching his face break into a smile when he sees me. I love being with him more and more, even after all this time, our time spent together is still incredible. It's amazing that two years can fly by, and it still feels brand new, that wow factor hasn't gone away one iota. He knows he has my heart, but he also knows he has my mind and that matters to him.

Jachin stopped talking to me after the post last week concerning his new round of psycho bitches. He's angry that I put his stuff out there like that because it causes his carefully constructed house of cards to begin to implode. I talked to Malcolm about it because it does make me sad that after all the years of love and friendship, Jachin can essentially toss me aside carelessly over some random booty call. Malcolm thinks it's much more than that. Malcolm thinks Jachin is angry that I decided to not be available to him sexually anymore. The decision, along with the decision to put a concerted effort into finding a couple to take over Affinity was what saved my relationship with Malcolm. It's what is responsible for the amazing changes I see in him every day, and the gifts of happiness I'm enjoying every day now.

So, some have told me that I take the sub thing way too far. That in giving up my sexual relationship with Jachin, and giving up my ownership of Affinity, I'm letting another man dictate how I live my life. Certainly Jachin has had very bitter words to say to me about it, and I'm sorry he's hurt by my actions and decisions. But I love whom I love. The nature of my relationship with Malcolm, although in some cerebral way D/s, is essentially a working partnership. Is Malcolm my Master? Absolutely. But his responsibility in the caretaking of my heart and soul are immense burdens, and I find myself caring for and keeping his as well. His requests are all supported with very logical arguments and debate. He insists on my input and opinion, and values my feelings. He wants me to understand him as he strives to understand me. I think what most people don't understand about working D/s relationships is that a good Master ALWAYS takes the needs and requests of his sub to heart, and relies on her needs to guide him in his job of caretaking. It's not about making the sub jump through hoops just for shits and giggles. It's about reaching incredible depths of intimacy together by accepting a role in the relationship. In the end, it just works for us because I trust him implicitly, as he trusts me.

What is probably most amazing to me is that as our intimacy develops, as our bond strengthens, our sex life gets better. The reason this is amazing is because who the fuck thought sex as incredible as we already have could get BETTER???? But holy fuck, today took the cake in terms of quality, and it was a quickie. LOLOL

We spent the morning together taking care of his errands, and came to his home together afterward to relax before he had to head into work. He decided he wanted sex, and I talked him into letting me suck his cock because I hadn't in a bit. He's been going to town going down on me for the past couple of weeks, but hasn't been into letting me suck him off. Today I went crazy on it, and I loved every minute he let me go on. He wanted to fuck my ass so bad though, and he made it happen. He talks to me during sex, telling me how much I please him, telling me how much he loves every hole in my body, telling me he loves me and that I belong to HIM. He'd work himself up to a frenzy, fucking me extra hard to punctuate that the depth of his penetration symbolizes his ownership, that he wants to mark every inch of me inside and out. He wanted to cum so bad, and he asked my permission to cum, telling me he'd wait if I wanted him to. But no, there is something so incredibly thrilling about knowing he can't hold it back. Feeling him bite into that spot on my shoulder blade that fits his teeth now, feeling him lose his finely honed control and shatter inside of me, leaving his mark behind so that every movement of my body reminds me that I belong to him.

Did he roll over and go to sleep then? Oh hell no, he's not a selfish lover and he knew I needed to cum more. Malcolm has worked hard over the past two years to teach me how to be multiorgasmic, to be a squirter, and to cum on his command. He knows my needs honestly better than I do. He knows my rhythms and cycles, and can read and play my body like a custom instrument. He went back down on me, and shoved his fingers inside, looking for that spot. Today he destroyed me with it. It burns, it makes me crazy, it makes me desperate to cum over and over, it makes me squirt, it makes me shake. I screamed, I cried, I begged, and hyperventilated.....and I came again and again and again.

My only regret was that Malcolm left the door open which means Jachin heard the whole damn thing. I'm thinkin he did that on purpose.

Malcolm and I discussed our life together today as well. He made me laugh when he admitted he'd break man cave edicts for me. LOL, I'd never make him do it to prove his love, he's already proved it by conceding that he would if I really needed it. So many concessions from him lately. How can I not give him everything I am in return? No psycho bitch from hell can take away what we have. Let them try.