Hope is the Greatest of the Gifts We Receive

Last year I waxed on poetic about my Ice King Malcolm and how he was Belief, and how I was Hope, and what that meant...read on...

"Malcolm is certain, he is the harbinger of the end, and the herald for the new. I mentioned this before because he was born on New Year's Eve. He is the bridge between a life already lived, and one imminently about to BEGIN. He has to have strong beliefs and convictions to balance the duality of his nature. And my role as Ice Princess, born two days after the solstice has me being caretaker to the end of times, the soul that governs the celebrations that wind up a life nearing it's end, the one that keeps the lights blazing as we enter that darkest time of year, and the one that maintains that it was all really worth it. Malcolm is Belief. I am Hope. When Belief and Hope come together, we create Love. And THAT, my friends, is the magic of Belief and Hope. Having Belief and Hope create the kind of environment that fosters and nurtures Love. And when we LOVE, we are divine."

This time of year makes me nostalgic, makes me want to feel that burning satisfaction of love in my chest, of surety, of absolute conviction. Malcolm and I spent quite alot of time talking together today on our breaks. Talking about everything we've been through this past year, how it's made us stronger, more committed to each other. I hear more love and respect in his voice, he's ever eager to make sure that I don't ever wonder about how he feels. And the wonder is that I don't worry, I feel safe as the flower in his hands. I know when he tells me he's got me, that he's really got me and won't let me fall. I trust him.

The wonderful part is the open and honest communication that we have. Malcolm inspires that in so many people. In Jachin, for example. Malcolm and Jachin have truly bonded as men do, and they have little to no secrets. Jachin shares most everything with Malcolm...his triumphs, his challenges, and his woes. Malcolm is an excellent and impartial filter, and helps Jachin keep his perspective in the face of insanity. He inspires Jachin to maintain his Belief that he is taking the right course, finally. Things have been crazy in Jachin's life lately, and although Jachin shares all his stuff with me too, Malcolm is just so much more what he needs to hear. A "guy" voice being calm and rational. It's reassuring that Jachin has the support he needs finally.

Malcolm, when he's angry, is a most impressive sight. He's like a dark god of vengeance and wrath. He won't shy away from a situation that has incensed him. He WILL confront both the situation and the person who created it. He has the best way of talking about it..."It's unfortunate that I'll have to say something now, that I need to address this issue. But once I get dragged in against my express wishes, the shit is done." He spoke his wrath once for my daughter's sake this past week, he'll speak it again for someone else who didn't know when to stop.

Malcolm met me when I was sad, when I was having a hard time understanding why Jachin hadn't fought for us harder. He held me when I cried trying to get a grip. He kept me from hating Jachin when I thought hating him would make it easier, or better. Malcolm and I fell in love when neither of us had any intention of being in that predicament. Malcolm taught me how he could make my body sing for him, and he showed me how to trust again. Malcolm and I have been through so much together, and always come out of our trials stronger, more committed to each other, more in love than before. Most women who meet him have a crush on him. Most fantasize about his unmatched sexual prowess, and his drop dead gorgeous looks. Many have been jealous enough to try and steal him. But the honest to god truth is that in the end it's HIS choice to be with who he wants to be with, and right now, it's his choice to be with me. I told him once that I would happily share the road with him, walking and holding his hand, until the time came for our paths to go in different directions. He took it as my heart's promise to him. I meant it. As my Ice King, he makes me believe in him, and he rekindles my hope. That is the finest gift any man can give a woman besides his absolute love of her.....and he's given me that too.

This Christmas, I wish that same peace and contentment on Jachin, that he can find strength in himself to do what's right instead of what's easy. That he can let go of anger and resentment. That he can find solace in people who have his best interests at heart. That the gods guide him through his most difficult trials ever. That he knows unconditional love and acceptance. And most of of, that he holds Hope and Belief close to his heart.