Chillin'

Our relationship has been so sweet lately, so comfortable....like a fluffy sueded sweatshirt you can't wait to pull over your head on a damp day. I've never been in this part of a relationship before. Usually, all the guys I've been with...Mr, babydaddy...have started to misbehave by now, and are creeping, and I'm stuck with that perpetual sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. But not with Malcolm. We've gotten to the slow part, where the whirlwind romance has backed away, and you find yourself dropped in the middle of a beautiful meadow, sun shining, and full of life. We KNOW each other pretty well, but still find the time to discover new secrets about one another. We smack talk each other alot, comfortable at last to know that the other person has the fortitude to take it, and dish it out as well. Are we still a D/s couple? Absolutely. But I don't walk behind him on a leash (except on certain occasions when it strikes his fancy, LOL). I walk, most every day, beside him while he holds my hand. Sometimes giving in to my Dom chafes a bit. He sees me struggling some days to comply, my eyebrow shooting up, my lips thinning. He laughs when he sees it, knowing I'm struggling to do what I want versus taking the needs of US, as a couple, into consideration. But I've found that when I think about us as a unit, as a family, I'm much more inclined to choose what's best for the family as opposed to just doing whatever the hell I want.

I ended my ownership of Affinity, although not my immediate involvement. There is a wonderful charming couple that has taken over the reigns for me, and is so far doing exceptionally well. I was sad, at first to be done, it felt like there was an enormous void of activity in my life when I didn't have to fuss with the group so much. But I'd made a promise to Malcolm to see it done, and I did. We're free now to pursue our own life within the lifestyle, and not trapped into entertaining a group that neither one of us started. I'm happy to just take the summer off from all parties and just chill out with Malcolm and my daughter. I find I'm tired of hosting, tired of the drama, the loss of revenue, the no shows and all the bullshit. I just want to hang out with the man I love and cherish, and show my daughter an awesome summer.

Our sex life remains unsurpassed. Every encounter, every night or day we spend together just becomes more and more incredible. I would have thought that our sex life by now would have become predictable, and to a certain extent it has. But it is predictable in the sense that I KNOW I'm going to cum, and cum A LOT!! It's a predictable I crave, looking forward to the moments we plan, or the moments we steal. And I find I'm losing my shyness in the bedroom, and some of my sub-ness, and becoming more fiery and more demanding. I KNOW what I like him to do, and I like pushing his hand so that he'll finger or fist me until I come 6 ways to tomorrow. I like it when he asks me to ride him, and I see him fighting to maintain control. I love sensing that he's on the verge of cumming, and he's trying to control it to make our lovemaking last longer. And I love taking control of that moment and pushing him over the edge fast and hard so that it makes him seize up and scream. I especially like it when he loses control so much that he forgets himself and bites me while he's screaming, leaving a perfect imprint of his mouth upon my shoulder blade.

I like that love has gone from a rolling boil to a low and slow simmer. I still struggle with trying to really grasp that this is all real. That nothing awful will happen to smash it all to pieces in a heartbeat. But the more I talk to people, the more they confirm for me, without being asked, how real it is. It isn't perfect, but it is damn good. More than two years later, we're still both excited to talk to each other every day. Surely that's a great sign? LOL