Topping from the Bottom

I do have a nasty habit, as a sub, to antagonize my dom(s)and "egg them on" to get what I want from them. It had all started with Jachin, way back in the day.....

Jachin introduced me to rough sex in a way that made sense to me. I'd been brutalized in the past, but it had always just felt like just that...brutality. Jachin took the time to ease me into it, to explain his kink, and go slow, always showering me with love after to make sure my mind knew, without a doubt, that there was nothing but love in his heart when we engaged in this. We had a safe word, which I never used, and even though I approached what I was sure was my limit many times, it was always wonderful in the end, and exactly what I needed or wanted. Here's a bit of a blog I'd written a year ago pertaining to this subject:

"I suppose that "Rough Sex" has different connotations for different people. Some people might think it is about deep penetration, or fast sex. Some might think it has to do with ass smacking and hair pulling. Maybe it has to do with some biting and scratching. Or maybe it has to do with any number of variations and combinations of the above.
Or maybe it's more. Maybe it's about domination and submission. Maybe it includes pushing your partner to their limits, exploring the fine line between pleasure and pain...maybe crossing it a couple of times. It might involve tears. It might involve humiliation. It might involve sketchy looking bruises the next day. For some people it might involve caning, or whipping....maybe even cutting.
Jachin loved rough sex. He was a good one for riding that fine line, and even better at crossing it without a thought when he'd been drinking. Was I just being battered, you might ask. Well, no. You can't really call something battering when it's consensual. Especially when the recipient is baiting the giver, and desiring the outcome. So here we come to the realm of safe words. I had one, once upon a time. Some days, I remember what it is. I've never EVER used it, however. Either I couldn't think of what it was at the time, or my pride wouldn't let me break. Granted there were moments I thought I couldn't handle, when the line got crossed a little too hard and fast. And the next day consequences were harsh as well. Being a girl with ultra fair skin means that I bruise quite easily. QUITE easily. So there were days that required a heavy hand on the makeup. But it definitely created an infinitely tight bond between us, one that is still pretty unbreakable. For me, it was knowing that he'd give me whatever I wanted. For him, it was understanding that I could take whatever he needed to give. It was a good match that way.
Being in a relationship with someone that knows exactly where your limits are and can ride the razor sharp edge between intimacy and brutality is strangely erotic. It's an intimacy that few can understand because in some way, your lover holds your life in his hands, and you trust him to do so. To this day, no matter the fucked up mess that Jachin has made of our relationship, I trust him with my life. I trust him to race to my side should I need him. I know, without a doubt, that he holds me still as his flower. Nobody in his or my life could really change that. But that intimacy, that soul bond, is only one aspect of the rough sex relationship. There is a high, maybe endorphins, maybe something else, that is released with the pain, and combined with a sexual high is incredibly addictive. You find yourself looking for more, for deeper, for more prolonged accentuated violence to meet your need. It can get scary, I think, when it's the staple of your sex life."

Over the few years that I engaged in bdsm with Jachin, and now with Malcolm, We've never really used more than a collar and an open hand. But I've started thinking about the next level, about being bound to the top Malcolm's door jamb, my naked back to him while he explored the limits of a flogger, or a cat o' nine tails. I was discussing this with Jachin casually, as he was driving to my house, wondering about his take on the whole thing, not really thinking about the fact that New Year's Eve has opened up our sexual appetite for each other again. I wanted his opinion, knowing that he's never really been into artificial means of hitting. Jachin has always been a huge advocate of using his hand, his "Fist of God" LOL, as I used to joke about his heavy handed spankings. He loves feeling the skin heat up as he smacks it, loves seeing his hand print bloom on the pale cheek of the ass he's disciplining. But something about my conversation struck a chord with him, and even though he'd already cum that morning, he was hard as stone envisioning me restrained and unable to fight him back. He decided he would dom me, harder than he ever had before, and going further with more props than ever before. He told me to be naked and waiting for him, no questions asked, or to expect consequences for disobeying. I kind of laughed at him, asking him if he was serious, and he had that chill calm he gets when he is completely serious. I didn't know if it was going to work out, but thought, what the hell?

Jachin has always HATED the fact that I've topped him from the bottom. He goes a little mental when I bait him and poke his bear. I used to do it to get him to be rougher, when I wanted it. I always knew it was a sure bet, in the end, to look him in the eye and say "What are you going to do about it, BITCH?" His pupils would dilate a bit when he'd hear me say it, and you could see his cock twitch and get harder knowing a total ass whooping was not only going to be available to him, but probably enhanced by me fighting him back. I still have a bad habit of baiting Jachin, or playing with his erections at my leisure, and toying with his wants and needs. I pushed him over the edge with my imagery yesterday, and his first words, when he arrived in my bedroom yesterday, were "You wanna top from the bottom again, huh? I don't think so this time."

Jachin commanded me to kneel. He restrained my arms behind my back and tied them tight using nylons. He took a belt, a metal studded double hole belt, and collared me with it, using the excess length as my leash. He found a silk scarf and tied it tightly around my eyes. Then he took his very thick, very hard cock, and shoved it down my throat, fisting his hands in my thick curls, and pulling my face up tight against his body. He made me gag on him repeatedly, commanding me to open wider for him so that he could get the head of his cock into my throat, and finally feel me swallow him. He fucked my mouth harder, and then shook me, making me go over onto the floor so that he could slam his cock into my pussy. Sucking cock makes me wet, and I was very very wet. But taking Jachin inside of my body is always tight, simply because he is so thick. He didn't give me time to acclimate, he just shoved in hard and fast, holding my leash, and slapping my ass over and over to feel it's heat. My hands had slipped out of their restraints when I'd gone onto the floor, and he stopped fucking long enough to haul me up, get my hands tied back, and lead me over to the bed so that I could lean over it. The restraints were very loose, and he told me that I better hold on and not let go, or the consequences would be very bad. I know Jachin well enough to say that he'd hold true to that promise, and I held on, no matter what. He took his own belt, folded it in quarters, and flogged my ass with it. It was excruciating, it was way more than I'd ever taken before, and I had a moment of doubt about the whole episode. But just as I was thinking it was time to try and remember that damn safe word...and hope that HE remembered what it was too LOL...he'd stop the flogging and slam his cock right up against my cervix again. He was amazing.



Jachin could see my ass turning about 50 shades of purple, and he knew I was reaching my limit. He pushed me up onto the bed, and grabbed the leash yanking my head up and back. It became a choke chain, much more effective than just his hand as it applied even pressure all the way around. He finished like that, with a death grip on the choke chain, screaming out his huge release. He took a moment to whisper in my ear "Blog about THAT!" I could feel his heart pounding against my back as he worked quickly to take the collar off and let me breathe again. He made sure everything on me was working right, lol, and he cleaned me up and let me rest. I didn't feel sore just then, I felt positively euphoric. I was also horny as hell, and I needed to cum about 5 more times. Jachin refused, telling me I'd have to wait for Malcolm to finish it. Bastard. I begged him for his hand, for a finger, to let me suck his cock while I finished myself. He wouldn't give at all. Apparently the two guys have worked out a system, and my lot was to have to wait a day and face Malcolm with what I'd done with Jachin. I wasn't sure how that was going to go over.



Of course Malcolm and I talked about it. He laughed his evil laugh and assured me I had more discipline coming from him. But that's a different blog, true?